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Got into a verbal fight with a very close friend - both definitely overreacted, and things were said. I thought we got past it that night, but I've been texting/calling only to be ignored.

 

I left a vm apologizing couple days ago, but still nothing. Haven't reached out since then.

 

We're both above 30yo, two men (boys? Lol).

 

He said some things about me which bothered him, and I kept to myself some of his flaws which I overlook. So this part is my ego - like, "hey you criticized me on this but you've got some issues of your own."

 

I was posting for advice on how to resolve conflict with friends, but I've tried and I guess he's just not open to it. If he doesn't respond at all.. friendship over? Basically like brothers.

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There is nothing to do but let him cool off OP... some people need time to process their feelings before practicing forgiveness.

 

At the end of the day, one of the things I admire most about male relationships is that when they fight, things generally cool off pretty quickly after blowing off steam. Mind you it's usually after punching each other out or challenging each other to a wrestling match but still :p

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I think it's strange that you said the fight was resolved that night, but then he went silent. You shouldn't have kept apologizing if both of you were at fault, and I presume, both exchanged apologies the night of the fight. It makes you look like you were solely in the wrong, which means he gets to believe that he was somehow victimized by you.

 

He may have decided after the fact that he no longer wants to associate with you, or maybe he just needs time to cool down. Who knows? Either way, I would stop trying to contact him for at least a few weeks, and stop acting like the aggressor in the situation if you were not the only one throwing hurtful words around.

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Yeah I guess you guys are right. Sad thing is we've gotten in fights before, mostly resolved but twice he's just disappeared for like a year.

 

Why are two adult men fighting? Let him disappear forever... it appears you don't mesh as well as you think you do. I've only had one fight with my best friend in 20 years and we resolved it that night and neither of us needed to disappear out of one another's lives for more than a few days. Maybe you just see each other too much and you're getting on one another's nerves. (???)

 

I'd let him disappear if I were you. A true friend wouldn't ghost you like that.

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Short version: playing a video game, dad called me in the middle from abroad bc I had asked him to visit a certain shop for me . Lost the game because I was on the phone. He got mad bc we lost. I got mad bc i felt it was disrespectful to my dad. Then he said I've had this attitude that i think I'm better than others. So maybe he also got more mad that I didn't care so much about losing the game and tske it super seriously? I then got very angry and cursed/shouted bc I felt he's been disrespectful to my dad in the past very indirectly and I was bottling it up (although for sure he wouldn't see it as disrespectful).

 

Anyway, I've been reflecting and i don't think that's true. Ive maybe been acting differently with him bc i dont agree with some of the things he's been saying/doing recently.

 

I'm having lingering feelings from the fight of feeling like the bad guy.

 

Sorry if the grammar is bad. I lost the first version.

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He has no boundaries

He appears to be addicted to a bloody game

He is immature

He is inconsiderate of others and only cares for things that are of importance to HIM

He is not as interested in this so called "friendship" as you are

You don't agree with the things hes doing

 

Give me one good reason why you want this friendship?

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Its not too rash to look after your own best interests. (if you don't do it who will?) So... let him go, block and delete the douche bag and get on with doing things that will introduce you to new people who are a lot more mature and capable of being a good friend. He's not even a good person.

 

but twice he's just disappeared for like a year.
Turd!
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  • 2 months later...
Ok so I got an email from him. Long and basically telling me for the past 7 years ive been a POS.

If anyone is open to reading it I can PM. But I'm not sure what to make of it

 

I would make of it that this person is no friend of mine.

 

I would not reply. This person adds nothing positive to your life.

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i hear you. it's tough to give up on someone who became one of my closest friends. sh*tty all around.

 

I had a friend that I was forced to remove from my life because she back stabbed me. Not in a personal way, which we could have discussed, but we worked together and she went to our supervisor and told her lies about me in an attempt to curry favor with the supervisor. You want to mess with me personally, oh well, but mess with my career! Oh heck no!

 

I miss her, but I can't trust her to be a true friend anymore.

 

Yeah, sucks, but do you really want someone like that in your life?

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The things he said make it seem like he has no idea who I am, or that he's got this side that I didn't know existed.

I'm utterly confused at where he's coming from, where those words came from. If he's thought I've been a pos friend the entire time why say it now? Why put it like that if it's not true.

 

And no I guess I wouldn't want someone like that in my life. I'm reflecting in how much I want him vs someone with whom to have fun.

 

Do I even bother telling him about the things that bothered me? Again the answer is no here, I know.

 

All in all... I'm confused as hell. No better example of 0 to 100 real fast.

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