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Thread: What to do

  1. #1
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    What to do

    My partner got annoyed at me chasing up dental details for my 17year old son who does not live with us ...i have been with this man for 3 years and my children have refused to see me as they do not want him in their life .....
    He got annoyed as he immediately asumed i was spending money. ...he feels that I pay child support and thats all i should do ....its a small amount that would not really help much as i am on a low income. ...he has said previously that if i give them more than i leagly have to he would not be happy and it would be the end of us ....if thats not enough
    .today i explained my intentions and that it was not about money. .he still had a problem with this ...saying that you're partner should come first . And its not up to me to do this ...my response. I am their mother and nothing is going to change this...he finished by saying that I should hurry up and go back so he can get on with leaving this earth..aka suicide. 😕😩 . I commented that it was manipulative and tried to talk about the actual issue ...he rolled his eyes and sarcastically remarked oh im sick of hearing about your feelings all the time. ..then said i dont want to argue
    .

    Not a very nice moment. ...but i am actually concerned about the whole thing. ...i just want to leave atm .
    Am i being unfair. ..
    I dont feel he is very open to discussing issues as he just sees it as argument

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Sorry but your partner threatening suicide because you have an interest in your children is abuse. I would be gone. My son comes before anyone . Partners come and go one’s children do not.

    If he threatens suicide again call an ambulance, they can deal with him.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    Seraphim is right.

    Your partner comes before your children when deciding what’s for dinner, or what to watch on television. Not financial support or emotional involvement.

    Your partner is controlling, manipulative, and has isolated you from your own children. He needs to go. Now.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Your kids come first. It's that simple. I'd tell him to hit the road.

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  6. #5
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    Your partner is a complete azzhole. Don't understand why you are with him, or why you would be with someone that your kids will not come around.

    Lose your partner, and address why you chose him over your kids. He is not going to commit suicide.

  7. #6
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    You actually agreed to stop seeing your own children in order to keep this man????

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    You actually agreed to stop seeing your own children in order to keep this man????
    Unbelievable.......

  9. #8
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    What's unfair is that you choose to stay with a guy that thinks you should prioritize him over your kids. Based on what you described about this man it's no wonder your kids don't want to be around you while he is there.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    You are involved with an abusive, controlling, manipulative man. Him threatening suicide is pure manipulation and if that's what it's taking for you to finally wake up, great. What you do now is plan your escape and do it quietly when he isn't around. Once you leave, be sure he has no way of finding you or contacting you. If you need more help, then call an abuse hotline for more details on how leave this kind of a psychopath.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    You need to leave this abusive man as soon as you can. As most abusive partners he probably isolated you from everyone, so if you don't have a support of frends and family network I recommend calling abuse hotlines and making an escape plan from him. I hope you didn't choose him over your children. If you did, now it's time to get your priority right and choose your well being and your kids. Don't worry about his suicide blackmail, it's just a manipulative tactic very common in abusive partners. Even if he did it would be his own fault and responsibility. If you're worried call an ambulance, but don't fall for his blackmailing tactics.

    Also, he has NO SAY AT ALL in what you give your children and if you want to give more than child support or not. That's your business, not his!

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