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Thread: What to do

  1. #21
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    Not so black and white. ..their father is in their heads and he was not a nice man ....i am not a meak woman either and because I acted in violence to his emotional and mental verbal abuse ...its easy for him to paint me as the bad guy ....you have no idear of the torture i endured for those children ...to try to keep them safe from him ...now i am the bad one who is ignored. ...i didn't even force them to see him they refused to see me by myself without him involved. ...this is not a case of i just left ....no there's alot more to it ..i only have had these conserns since moving and i just want to run back to them ...yet i feel even if i did there would be another reason as by doing that the ex wins ...he has them in his control . And i never wanted to take them through court but now it seems like my only option. ...im sorry about your mum ....and i am well aware of the pain as i feel it myself ....im getting to the point of hating men

  2. #22
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    Yeah im the i thought it was real .

  3. #23
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    True thankyou

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    The father of your children was an abusive man apparently and your current boyfriend is also abusive and controlling. You need to stop the cycle of abuse once and for all and leave the current abusive man for yourself and for your children. It's going to take time and maybe therapy, but at this time you're not ready for a relationship since you've fell for two abusive men and it will take time to heal from this and learn so that story doesn't repeat itself. As you leave this man, I suggest making an escape plan getting your finances in order and getting a place to stay in advance if the house is not yours and talk to an attourney as I don't think this psycho will let you go easily.

    As bad as the father of your children is, the current situation is that you got yourself involved with a man who's also bad and is manipulating you. That's the priority to solve now in my opinion.

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Annia
    The father of your children was an abusive man apparently and your current boyfriend is also abusive and controlling. You need to stop the cycle of abuse once and for all and leave the current abusive man for yourself and for your children. It's going to take time and maybe therapy, but at this time you're not ready for a relationship since you've fell for two abusive men and it will take time to heal from this and learn so that story doesn't repeat itself. As you leave this man, I suggest making an escape plan getting your finances in order and getting a place to stay in advance if the house is not yours and talk to an attourney as I don't think this psycho will let you go easily.

    As bad as the father of your children is, the current situation is that you got yourself involved with a man who's also bad and is manipulating you. That's the priority to solve now in my opinion.
    Thank you your words are very wise ...we have made progress and he admitted that he was wrong in saying what he did ...i know that can be seen as part of the cycle yet i feel it was strong of him to do so ...i know he has struggled with depression and anxiety. So hard to tell if its a threat or genuine feeling. ... i do agree that the pattern can repeat. And this is always in the back of my mind and i probably am quick to judge given my past ...i was quite upset when I wrote my first post and its a bit all over the place ..but i appreciate your advice as this corse of action has been on my mind too

    Thanks

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