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Thread: What to do

  1. #11
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    Why don't you have custody?

  2. #12
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    Your children must be so hurt by this situation. I can only imagine the psychological damage it is causing them. They are likely to suffer tremendously in their adult years as they try to develop romantic relationships with the holes you have put in their hearts.

    I know this sounds really harsh, but please understand that I am saying it for your childrenís benefit. You have chosen this man over them. I do not understand why you would even bother to explain yourself to him, let alone be in a relationship. He encourages you to neglect your children. You should not hesitate to be done with him.

    You will regret staying with him in the long run. However, you will never regret turning your life around in this moment and choosing to make your children a priority. End this sham of a relationship now and be done with him forever. Someone who truly loves you will instinctively support you in your decision to be the best mother you can be.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Your kids have a good point. He's an abusive control freak. Who the hell is he telling you what you can/can't spend on your own kids? Wake up and get out.
    Originally Posted by Kel1978
    my children have refused to see me as they do not want him in their life .....
    He got annoyed as he immediately asumed i was spending money. ...saying that you're partner should come first .

  4. #14
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    This is not okay!
    Your children whether they live with you or not, come first. Always! He isnít okay with you doing something for your kids...he knows where the door is. And the fact that he is threatening his own life and trying to say youíll be the blame...no! He is a child!
    Iím sorry but you deserve someone who will accept you, your kids, and the fact that they will come first always.

  5.  

  6. #15
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    Yep, it would be the suicide threat which would be the final straw for me. Years ago, I had a partner whose behaviour was getting more and more controlling, who threatened to kill himself if I ended the relationship. I responded that if his life without me would really be that bad, I'd respect his decision - and finished with him. He didn't go through with it, of course.

    You know what your loyalties to your children should be. Do not allow yourself to be held emotionally hostage by this man. You do not have to justify how you spend your own money, or, indeed even tell him.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    My mother was married 5 times & always put the men before my Sisters and I.
    Let me tell you that your poor children are suffering because of your choices.
    I dont have a relationship with my mother. I see her on holidays and that is it.
    She is not a part of my or my children's day to day life.

    Once your children are grown & have families of their own I am positive you will be excluded.
    Is this man worth never seeing your Grandchildren grow?

    I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself & your choices. I feel so sorry for your poor children

  8. #17
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    Thank you all for your honesty. I appreciate it and helps me see clearly. ..i was in a very emotionally distressed way ...i have known this man for over ten years as i thought we were friends. ..my ex was abusive also and i just didn't know what was right or wrong at the time ....he was there and my ex had alot to do with influences on the children about him ...there wasn't a problem at first. Not ever until my youngest would return from dad ...anyway long story. ..but now i feel differently and i want my babies ...i feel like i have ultimatums on both sides . The kids / ex demand him to not be around . I am shocked at how i didn't see it ....as the last one was a cracker ...and i have boys and my eldest is a little alot like him.i have bought a house with the now partner and yeah we moved away ....after years of trying to get them to even talk to me ...they would not even acknowledge me when they saw me .... so i really appreciate hearing all view points thankyou all ❤and light

  9. #18
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    When were split my ex told me once he gets my eldest the yougest will follow. It was an adusive relationship. And i left for this man whom i considered a long time friend and had feeling for ..we did the shared time and it was him that did not want them around him .he told them quite alot of lies and my eldest decided to go to him as i did not see why there was an issue we lived separately. Alot of time has past i have continuity tried to talk to see they just completely ignore me .he has never been anything but good to them its only now since we moved and bought a house ..i have them telling me they wont have anything to do with me while i am with him ...i have been mentally unstable through all of this and have had no money for court ..i now have had free leagle help and papers to file ..i did not want to take the kids through court ...he has them brainwashed so i thought now im not so sure

  10. #19
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    No i did not agree ...i felt manipulated by the ex through the children. ...he has told them alot of lies ..and i continued to be there for them and try to make contact but they literally would not talk to me and walk away ....my ex also put a protective order on me and told the kids that it also involved them witch was not true he even lied to the schools and I had to get a solicitor to rectify this .

  11. #20
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    I and we have tried for over two years to sort this out ...he was a friend of the ex and the ex understandably is crushed ...so yeah i am the bad guy who broke they family and left for wjat i thought was going to be a better situation. ..i never just up and left ....i continually tried to sort this out ..even if i had no one .this would still be the case as the ex is very bitter and controlling. ..now i am at a complete loss ....imagine what it feels like when you see your 9 yr old and they say they arent alloud to talk to you or hug and kiss you ....who even tells kids that

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