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Thread: Smoking

  1. #1

    Smoking

    Hello, I need advice. I am in relationships with the man who smokes, I don't like the smell of cigarettes and have a bad reaction to the smoke. I asked him to quit for a thousand times, but he ignored this and said that this addiction is stronger than him. I think that is a reason to revise my priorities and make changes in relationships. The final thing, what he did for me was vaping. He started vaping instead of smoking cigarettes, it was like a compromise. I found some information about vaping and second-hand vaping on special sites, maybe you know VapingDaily, AddictionResource or something like that, where people say that vaping is better than smoking for health, but as for me, it's a not healthy thing. So I don't know what to do. Should I force him to quit at all or to let him do what he wants??? Thank you for your help.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Frances96
    Should I force him to quit at all or to let him do what he wants??? .
    Why do you think you have the right to make someone do what you want them to do? The only person's behaviour you can change in the world is your own. If you don't like the situation, change from putting up with it to walking away.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why would you date a smoker and expect him to change by nagging? You're incompatible. You can't force anyone to do anything. Break up.
    Originally Posted by Frances96
    I am in relationships with the man who smokes, I don't like the smell of cigarettes and have a bad reaction to the smoke. I asked him to quit for a thousand times.He started vaping instead of smoking cigarettes, it was like a compromise. Should I force him to quit.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    No, you don't force people to do as you say.

    You've got two options here, accept that he's a smoker and stop badgering him about it or end things if it bothers you too much.

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  6. #5
    Gold Member SGH's Avatar
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    Oof your post kind of sent chills up my spine. Stop trying to shape this man!

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    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    You can't 'force' another adult to do anything , at least not without consequences to your relationship. You can impose boundaries that limit what impacts you directly, such as, "I don't want that smell around me, so I'm asking you not to do it in my home or around me."

    Your other option is to decide for yourself whether this is a dealbreaker for you because you'd prefer a partner who is more health conscious. In that case your OWN behavior would be to dump the guy to go pursue someone who is a better match for you.

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    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    If you have a bad reaction to smoke, then you DON'T date a smoker. Period. You cannot force or make or change an adult into anything. Only person you control is yourself and your choices. In this case YOU made a bad choice so either stop harassing your SO and deal with him vaping, since that solves your smoke stench issues, OR dump him because you don't want to live with someone like that. Get out there and find a better match.

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    "Should I force him to quit at all or to let him do what he wants??? "

    The fact that you think either of these options is an acceptable way to behave in a relationship is concerning.

    You cannot "force" someone to do anything, and you don't get to "let" him do anything either.

    Do you think that, as his girlfriend, you have the RIGHT to dictate his behavior? Or are you one of those people who think "If he REALLY loved me he'd do whatever I want!!!"?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Did he smoke when you met? If yes then you have zero place to say anything.

    Dump him and only date non smokers

    Lost

  11. #10
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Should I force him to quit at all or to let him do what he wants???
    ****in' excuse me?

    Look, I'd never date a smoker. But I definitely wouldn't date one just to nag them over the habit. And I definitely, definitely wouldn't assume I'm in any position to force another grown adult to stop.

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