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Thread: Did she blunder on purpose to get my attention? Maybe...

  1. #1

    Did she blunder on purpose to get my attention? Maybe...

    Hope you can help me on this...
    I met this girl 5 months ago, we were really attracted to each other (she finds me - she told me so - very attractive, smart, kind... As a matter of fact she thinks I'm a player as I would be to good for her). I saw her face to face twice (only yep I realize this is not a lot) but the two times we saw each other we hugged and flirted like a lot. And I used to text her a lot. In fact she was really shy (like sick shy ) so she ask me to see her only once (but I was busy) and she rarely engaged in conversation (but when we talked she would never stop ).
    Because of this non-initiative from her I talked to her less and actually we are quite distant (1 chat every 3 weeks). In fact I work hard this year and we do not study in the same place (but same city) so it was complicated to see her (PLUS she is shy remember )... However, I can tell that she keeps having feelings for me (her best friend talked to me and about what I felt for her and she acts like if she... you know right...).
    Yesterday whereas we did not speak to each other for weeks she sends me this demand on snapchat mentioning that she wanna know my position. I know this was not really the point I'm not stupid but I'm quite lost here.
    I'm not a player but yes I knew a lot of women (and sometimes quickly forgot them) but this girl, I can't take her out of my head for 5 months. So what do you think? Should I try to flirt with her again even if it might be very awkward or should I abandon? (In every cases I shouldn't lose to much time because I already told you I have to work a lot )

    Hemmm and I did not mentioned but she might date someone (even if she acts with me as she does not)...

  2. #2
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    I sounds like she's interested in you, but she needs you to reach out due to being so shy. When you get to know her better, she'll be less shy, so my thought is if you really like this girl, reach out to her often. You'll have to reach out the most. There will be times you question her interest due to the fact that you have to do most of the work, but as long as she responds and does't blow off dates or have excuses, her feelings are her enthusiasm to continue seeing you when you ask and texting back, etc. Hopefully she opens up and feels less shy after she gets to know you better and feel more comfortable. Certainly discuss that she needs to work a little harder on her shy behavior if you've been going out awhile and she's still really standoffish. You need to express your needs in the relationship. If weeks and weeks go by and she's really not giving you what you need in the relationship, you can part ways. At least you tried and you put in a good effort.

    As far as your busy schedule, I don't know if it would be a mistake to embark on a relationship if you simply don't have the time. If you think you can put away at least one night a week for her and it won't burn you out, I don't see why you shouldn't try. You will want to be forthcoming on your schedule difficulties. It's always harder on the person that is less busy, as they do a lot more waiting and hoping and it's a let down when the one day a week you get to see each other gets cancelled due to being sick or tired, or study for a test or plans with friends/family, etc. Be careful with this. The person who is busy might really need that one or two nights a week where they don't have to be responsible for another person, some silence, some time to recharge. If you think that dating will be too difficult with your busy lifestyle, spare her the heartache and maybe reach out if you can shave some responsibilities out of your schedule.

    I'm not sure what you mean by blunder on purpose. I'm not sure I see a blunder. She sounds like she's waiting on you to make a move and you do this interested/not interested little dance, leading her on, in a way, and she simply wants to know what you want so she can move on or push you to do something.

    I question if she'll be a little exhausting to try to date with her profound shyness. Again, hopefully she loosens up in time. It's up to you if you want to pursue this.

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