But, I have fit, I do fit, and I will likely fit in the future if I wanted. It really is a back and forth between us
When you are "back and forth" with someone it's natures way of telling you that you're with the wrong person. You are addicted to her and as you go zero contact, stop stalking any social media, no texts or emails you will soon enough get over your addiction to someone that is only interested in new relationship energy and once she's past the initial thrill, moves onto someone else.

Zero contact is your way out of this dysfunction you've found yourself in with her. If you can't do the zero contact or get past your obsessive thinking on her, you would do well to get yourself a good therapist proficient in codependency issues because anyone who wasn't codependent would drop her like the hot potato she is.