Hopeful333 Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 Hello all, I hope this is the right forum but if not I apologize. To sum everything up a few months ago I had my first heartbreak. My ex-boyfriend broke up with me and everything that followed was horrible. I went through the stages of not being able to eat or sleep and for weeks I would cry everyday. (Also I do have some mental health issues so the breakup deff triggered a bad reaction). But that's not why I'm here lol. I'm proud to say now I am so happy and blessed. I was able to get better with the support of a counselor and my family. I feel indifferent about my ex and realized what I deserve (which is better). Now after that intro here's my issue.... it's been nearly 5 months since the breakup and I do not even have the desire to talk to other guys. I don't want to date anyone for a while which I suppose is normal but it gets a little stranger. I've almost lost all sexual desire as well. There has been opportunities of course as (as im in college) but I just don't feel any way about it. I'm still attracted to men but I just don't know when I will be able to open up again esp if I don't even feel the need to go on dates and talk to them. Is this normal?? I'm not sure as this is the first time I've been in this situation. I would appreciate some help thank you very much Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 Now after that intro here's my issue.... it's been nearly 5 months since the breakup and I do not even have the desire to talk to other guys. I don't want to date anyone for a while which I suppose is normal but it gets a little stranger. I've almost lost all sexual desire as well. There has been opportunities of course as (as im in college) but I just don't feel any way about it. I'm still attracted to men but I just don't know when I will be able to open up again esp if I don't even feel the need to go on dates and talk to them. Is this normal?? I'm not sure as this is the first time I've been in this situation. I would appreciate some help thank you very much Perfectly normal. There is no timeline for recovering from something like this. Link to comment
Flipp Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 Well, I’m not the expert, but I felt exactly like you. I literally jumped the first time after the BU I was on a date and the guy put his arm around me. I also thought i probably was abnormal, but now 6,almost 7 months later I actually went on a date again and I didn’t get sick by the thought of kissing the guy, I actually sort of wanted to (which surprised me enough that I didn’t do it anyways 😂). I still want my ex though, but I guess it’s progress at least! Hang in there! Link to comment
Hopeful333 Posted February 27, 2019 Author Share Posted February 27, 2019 Aww thanks guys. It just seemed so out of character for me I guess the weirdest part is I have no desire to get back with my ex and I thought once I got past that stage I'll be okay with finding someone else Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 Normal. I felt the same. I think it is great that you are processing things, so that you can get to a better place. Link to comment
notadoctor Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 I can totally relate! I don't know what to advice because I am totally in the same place as you. But in my case, I am certain, as of writing this, I got zero sexual desire! This is the longest time I've gone without m_-ing. Well, it has only been a month so I guess this is totally normal but I am intrigued myself when this will return to normal. 😂 I'm also in college so yeah. Link to comment
BreadStick Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 Yep. It's normal, no worries. I have absolutely no desire and normally I am very much active. Nothing. So take your time OP, no worries. Link to comment
Hopeful333 Posted February 28, 2019 Author Share Posted February 28, 2019 Thanks for the responses everyone :) I’m glad to know I’m not alone. It was something I didn’t know how to bring up without sounding strange. TMI I was always a very active person so when I started feeling this way it was not something I knew how to deal with. I guess only time will let me know when I’m ready again Link to comment
Flipp Posted March 1, 2019 Share Posted March 1, 2019 . But in my case, I am certain, as of writing this, I got zero sexual desire! This is the longest time I've gone without m_-ing. Yep. It's normal, no worries. I have absolutely no desire and normally I am very much active. Nothing. So take your time OP, no worries. I was there for a looong time too. Still haven’t been intimate with anyone. Part of me is terrified of the whole ordeal, part of me is angry because I still relate most of my sexual thoughts and desires to my ex, and don’t really want him to be the last one that I’ve been with. But hey, we really just have take the time it takes. Link to comment
Hopeful333 Posted March 2, 2019 Author Share Posted March 2, 2019 Hmm strangely enough I don't have sexual desire towards anyone. If anything I am no longer physically/sexually attracted to my ex which is such a crazy thought haha. I don't want to force myself by do things I am not ready for! but according to everyone I am just going to have to see when my body is finally ready :) Link to comment
Wolfshook Posted March 3, 2019 Share Posted March 3, 2019 If it helps, it took me almost 2 years to be ready for really anything. Not that I was still on my ex, I just didnt have the need. Link to comment
Hopeful333 Posted March 3, 2019 Author Share Posted March 3, 2019 It does :) I am in no rush to jump into a new relationship (or guy) and if it takes me five years I can wait! I guess what made me initially think it was abnormal was people always telling me to "move on" or to find someone else. Or even just sleep with someone new. Not many people seemed to understand my dilemma of not even having the interest to Link to comment
Flipp Posted March 9, 2019 Share Posted March 9, 2019 It does :) I am in no rush to jump into a new relationship (or guy) and if it takes me five years I can wait! I guess what made me initially think it was abnormal was people always telling me to "move on" or to find someone else. Or even just sleep with someone new. Not many people seemed to understand my dilemma of not even having the interest to I know what you mean! Lots of people have been telling me that too! “Just have a fling!, you don’t have to marry someone to sleep with them”. I kinda just put it down to my rather religious upbringing, but I guess it’s quite common. Link to comment
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