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Thread: Saw my boyfriends porn and canít stop obsessing over it

  1. #1

    Saw my boyfriends porn and canít stop obsessing over it

    Okay so my boyfriend and I are both pretty insecure. This is something we are aware of and working on. Anyways, the other day he was showing me something on his phone and happened to scroll past a porn video he had saved on his phone. I have always told him I donít care if he watches porn and have kind of an ďout of sight out of mindĒ policy about it. I donít mind the idea of it and I know pretty much every man watches it but seeing it for myself made me sick to my stomach. I also asked him a few weeks before if he watched it and he said no. Iím not sure why he lied because we are usually pretty open about uncomfortable topics like this. I know he didnít want me to get upset but now I feel even worse and I canít stop obsessing about this. I have a lot of body image issues and now I just feel inadequate and ugly. Since this happened and he been amazingly sweet and clearly feels bad. He even told me he would stop watching porn all together. I donít want that because I donít want to be controlling and I donít want it to lead to more secrecy in the future. I just asked that maybe while Iím still in this bad place he use something else to get him off (we have pics/videos he also sometimes watches). Anyways I just want some advice on how to deal with my insecurities. I know Iím being a little crazy but I really canít stop thinking about it and I have just been super depressed and self conscience since. Has anyone else ever dealt with this? How do I stop comparing myself to these girls?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jealousgirl
    How do I stop comparing myself to these girls?

  3. #3
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    It sounds as though you've decided on the one hand that you don't want to be controlling or police what he watches, but when he takes you at your word, you find it deeply upsetting. To be honest, it doesn't sound like he's a porn addict - which would be as damaging to your relationship as any other addiction - more of a casual user. He may have lied about it because he didn't want to upset you, or felt embarrassed about it in the first place.

    What you can address are your body image issues; as Wiseman says, therapy may be a useful way to go. Let yourself know that you are wonderful, gorgeous, and your boyfriend is lucky to have you.

    As to how to stop comparing yourself to these girls... this is the reality of the porn industry: [Register to see the link]
    and if that doesn't tell you you're better off being you, nothing will!
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  • #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    As to how to stop comparing yourself to these girls... this is the reality of the porn industry
    It's a shame more men weren't more aware of the truths behind porn. It's not a nice thing and many of these women are abused, used and drugged up.

    All it takes is a little common sense. No woman in her right mind would want to be exploited like that. It degrades them completely. I read an article that many of these women have no where else to go and don't feel that they have any other worth.

    Nothing about this industry is "pretty" or "sexy". Its dismal and quite depressing.

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