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Thread: Im very confused , What do I do ??

  1. #1
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    Im very confused , What do I do ??

    Ok so I have been talking to this guy for like a a year and a half. We have seen each other just a few times. I have Known him for like 6 years. He is very flirty with me when we talk over text and everytime he sees me, he teases with me and we end up kissing. Thats the further we did together. And we have been speaking on and off.

    I saw him in november and told him that I started seeing someone and that it was serious. That time he even tried to kiss me but I didnt let him. I told him that we could remain friends but he said that theres no way that me and him could be friends and that he was okay with still seeing me. I was hoping deep down that he could realize that he is losing me since he has never commited. Anyhow my relationship didnt work out because it was a long distance one. He had stop texting me since last time I saw him. he started back texting me randomly without him knowing I was single again.

    So we have been texting again. When he tries to see me, its always like last minute around 7pm and never planned days before. For the few times we hung out, when he comes to see he comes near my house and we talk in his car. Yesterday I texted him to hang out and he came to pick me up. We went to a bar (the same we been in our first "date") and he kissed me. He was asking me alot of questions about exes and I felt somehow judged. I overshared and I regret sharing personal detals about my past relationships since we are not together, i didnt think he deserved that much info. Then I asked him about his past rekationships and he said that he wasnt really seeing or talking to any girl since he was focused on his carreer. He is 31 almost 32, and he tols me he wanted to have kids before 35 and then he asked me the question

    So he told me that right now he was to focused with his prohects ans that he couldnt really commit in a relationship. I never felt that he took time to like go on a real date or something like that
    Im so confused cause we have good convos but then I m sure how to tell him that kind of relationships doesnt interest me unless there is commitment but without me coming out as needy or too intense.

    What should I do??? Should I tell him to stop kissing me everytime and just to remain "friends"??

    Im very confused

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    If he were interested in dating/a relationship you would know. It would not look like a drinking buddy or hanging out sometimes. Think of him as a friend and get on some dating apps with nice recent pics and a well written profile to find guys interested in dating/relationships. There is a book "He's Just Not That Into You", which will clarify this type of neither here-nor-there hanging out and clear up the confusion.

  3. #3
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    Block him and delete his number. He's not your friend.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Hmmm, he kisses you but you have known him for years and you are not a couple? I'd say it's going nowhere fast.

    And if he does not want dates, he's either not that interested in you or not a romantic guy - and you need romance.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    He's just not that into you or after 6 years things would've progressed to a relationship instead of last minute hook ups inside the car and "hanging out sometimes". Also why do you want to be friends with a man who didn't respect your boundaries when you were in a committed relationship and who wants low effort hook ups with you?

  7. #6
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    the First time we met it was 6 years ago, and I was running into him at the grocery and random places. Then, a year and a half ago, thats when he took my #. Next time Im gonna see him, Im gonna let him know what I think.

    Also, when we were at that bar, he didnt stop moving his legs and he keeps looking on the side...the first time we went there he so looked so nervous. I Remember him telling me one time that his ex girlfriend worked close to that bar.. I always had a suspicion that he was in a relationship. Anyhow, I also feel sometimes that he wants me for the long run( like having a family...) but not for now... I really had enough with this type of behaviour, and I will adress it to him.

  8. #7
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    Yeah I dont think he is very romantic... I told him that my ex confessed to me that he had told me that he fell in love at first sight. Then he told me that is so cheesy and you cant say that in the beginning unless you are a romantic... that justified alot of the romance missing from his part

  9. #8
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    You're wasting your time with him, OP.

    He isn't into you beyond some no-strings company. You can address it if you want, but I promise it's not going to change a thing. He'd have already snapped you up if he felt anything for you.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Me thinks he's married
    Seriously. Or has a girlfriend.

  11. 03-06-2019, 03:34 AM
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