Says he ‘likes me’ but actions say otherwise

so, been seeing this guy for 2 months, he says he wants to exclusively see me which is great because I really like him, I go away from next week till April on study exchange but he said he wants to wait and see me when I’m back. But tonight my friend has recently found him on tinder (active) and it’s really upset me. I want to say something but I don’t know how to approach the situation? I just feel hurt, and lied to. I’d rather him be honest. Any advice on how to approach would be great.

I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I can imagine it could be a huge stomp on the good ol heart. But I honestly think there’s no other way to approach this other than being straight forward with him.

There’s different ways to approach things of course. If in fact he just hasn’t deactivated it say “hey I have something to ask you that’s been on my mind lately, my friend is all about tinder and she came across your profile. I understand she’s just looking out for me but I am going to you with this so I know where we both stand and what your intentions are”

Idk just an example. I know you’re hurt by this but it’s truly a blessing in disguise that you found out early in instead of dating months down the road.

Approach him...see what happens. Whether good or bad results, you’ll be fine.

Hoping the best :)

so, been seeing this guy for 2 months, he says he wants to exclusively see me which is great because I really like him, I go away from next week till April on study exchange but he said he wants to wait and see me when I’m back. But tonight my friend has recently found him on tinder (active) and it’s really upset me. I want to say something but I don’t know how to approach the situation? I just feel hurt, and lied to. I’d rather him be honest. Any advice on how to approach would be great.

OP, in this thread, https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=557493, you said you moved abroad in January but here you indicate you're going away from next week. Can you clarify the timeline?

In any case, I think you have just discovered that you and him are not on the same page. Did you explicitly, mutually agree to not date other people?

My sense is that if he's on Tinder, he's not attempting to hide his activity, which tells me one of two things: 1) There's been a miscommunication and he doesn't see you two as an exclusive couple, or 2) He doesn't care and was hoping to get away with it.

I would call him and ask him what's up, let him know what your friend saw, and that you want to discuss it with him before drawing any conclusions. Let him fill in the blanks. This is not something I would address over messaging. Speaking on the phone or webcam, you'll get a better sense of his initial reaction before he has time to think things through and come up with an excuse, if that's what he intends to do.

You've been on 6 dates and will be long distance. All you need to say is "bye". Being exclusive after 6 dates while you're away is silly. Be glad you're free. Did he use the "exclusive" line to string you along into having sex?

I go away from next week till April on study exchange but he said he wants to wait and see me when I’m back.

He said he wants to be exclusive with you, but did you two actually decide to be exclusive?

If you two confirmed that you are in fact exclusive, then yeah, he shouldn’t be active on Tinder.

If you didn’t decide to be exclusive, then you’re both open to date whomever you want.

I’m just wondering whether you actually told him you wanted exclusivity, since only a couple of days ago, you posted about whether you wanted it in the first place:

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=557674

If you have decided to be exclusive, and your friend found him on Tinder after the fact, be honest and upfront. Tell him your friend saw him on Tinder.

If you haven’t decided to be officially exclusive yet, like I said, you two can date whomever and swipe as much as you want.