Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Says he Ďlikes meí but actions say otherwise

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    8

    Says he Ďlikes meí but actions say otherwise

    so, been seeing this guy for 2 months, he says he wants to exclusively see me which is great because I really like him, I go away from next week till April on study exchange but he said he wants to wait and see me when Iím back. But tonight my friend has recently found him on tinder (active) and itís really upset me. I want to say something but I donít know how to approach the situation? I just feel hurt, and lied to. Iíd rather him be honest. Any advice on how to approach would be great.

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    35
    Iím sorry you are dealing with this. I can imagine it could be a huge stomp on the good ol heart. But I honestly think thereís no other way to approach this other than being straight forward with him.
    Thereís different ways to approach things of course. If in fact he just hasnít deactivated it say ďhey I have something to ask you thatís been on my mind lately, my friend is all about tinder and she came across your profile. I understand sheís just looking out for me but I am going to you with this so I know where we both stand and what your intentions areĒ

    Idk just an example. I know youíre hurt by this but itís truly a blessing in disguise that you found out early in instead of dating months down the road.

    Approach him...see what happens. Whether good or bad results, youíll be fine.

    Hoping the best :)

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    8,012
    Originally Posted by NYCBrooklyn
    so, been seeing this guy for 2 months, he says he wants to exclusively see me which is great because I really like him, I go away from next week till April on study exchange but he said he wants to wait and see me when Iím back. But tonight my friend has recently found him on tinder (active) and itís really upset me. I want to say something but I donít know how to approach the situation? I just feel hurt, and lied to. Iíd rather him be honest. Any advice on how to approach would be great.
    OP, in this thread, [Register to see the link] , you said you moved abroad in January but here you indicate you're going away from next week. Can you clarify the timeline?

    In any case, I think you have just discovered that you and him are not on the same page. Did you explicitly, mutually agree to not date other people?

    My sense is that if he's on Tinder, he's not attempting to hide his activity, which tells me one of two things: 1) There's been a miscommunication and he doesn't see you two as an exclusive couple, or 2) He doesn't care and was hoping to get away with it.

    I would call him and ask him what's up, let him know what your friend saw, and that you want to discuss it with him before drawing any conclusions. Let him fill in the blanks. This is not something I would address over messaging. Speaking on the phone or webcam, you'll get a better sense of his initial reaction before he has time to think things through and come up with an excuse, if that's what he intends to do.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    31,483
    Gender
    Male
    You've been on 6 dates and will be long distance. All you need to say is "bye". Being exclusive after 6 dates while you're away is silly. Be glad you're free. Did he use the "exclusive" line to string you along into having sex?
    Originally Posted by NYCBrooklyn
    I go away from next week till April on study exchange but he said he wants to wait and see me when Iím back.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    1,958
    Gender
    Female
    He said he wants to be exclusive with you, but did you two actually decide to be exclusive?

    If you two confirmed that you are in fact exclusive, then yeah, he shouldnít be active on Tinder.

    If you didnít decide to be exclusive, then youíre both open to date whomever you want.

    Iím just wondering whether you actually told him you wanted exclusivity, since only a couple of days ago, you posted about whether you wanted it in the first place:

    [Register to see the link]

    If you have decided to be exclusive, and your friend found him on Tinder after the fact, be honest and upfront. Tell him your friend saw him on Tinder.

    If you havenít decided to be officially exclusive yet, like I said, you two can date whomever and swipe as much as you want.
    Last edited by milly007; 02-27-2019 at 02:46 PM.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •