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Thread: Separated husband going on road trip for 12mths

  1. #1
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    Separated husband going on road trip for 12mths

    My husband and I are separated, even though we still spend time together. He is going away soon on a 12mth road trip and it is killing me, that I won't see him. He has suggested that I fly in fly out to catch up with him sometime, but money is going to be the problem. Should I ask him to compromise with me on the time he is planning to be away? I feel that I am the one who is freeting about being left alone and I don't know what to do. Can anyone give me some solid advice on this awkward situation?

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    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Well how do you guys view being separated?

    A lot of couples try what's called a trial separation in times of trouble but I'm very sorry to say that in most cases this is just a stepping stone to actually breaking up.

    Perhaps you are just prolonging the inevitable....

    Not what you want to hear I know. My marriage ending almost killed me...I'm sorry for your pain.

    To finish on a more positive note though, perhaps 12 months of mostly NC might be the catalyst that brings you two back together.

    Regards
    Carus*

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    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You said you are separated, so why is him going away for a year a problem for you? Many people would love to not see or hear from an ex for that long!

    Perhaps it's time for you to establish your own life, apart from him, and learn to live on your own and do the things you want to do.

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    Thank you Carus for your reply, I really hope that NC will make him miss me as much as I will miss him.
    Regards
    Diane

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    Hi Melancholy123,
    Thank you for your reply, but thats the problem....I still love my ex and want to be with him. Where I live has very little activity to entertain one. I can only hope that NC will help him miss me also.

    Regards
    Diane

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    Why are you separated. Did you seek therapy?

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    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DianeAllen
    I still love my ex and want to be with him.
    Yeh sorry. A lot of us do.

    Unfortunately this is one of those things in life that we have little to no control over...

    The only thing you can do is work through the grief, take good care of yourself and start putting in plans as to what you need to do going forward.
    Originally Posted by DianeAllen
    I can only hope that NC will help him miss me also.
    It very well may do if you do it properly. But try not to go into NC and just stare at the clock waiting.

    Like I said, work through the grief and put one foot in front of the other. Day by day. Hour by hour. That's all you need to do right now....

    As for NC, being that you are married do you not have kids together? A house? Business?

    These things will need to be addressed perhaps down the line a bit...

    For now just breathe... Sleep and eat best you can ok*

    Carus*

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    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    Was his trip planned before or after the separation? What caused this separation and how long has it been going?

    The road trip sounds like an opportunity to open himself up to himself. To heal from whatever caused the separation and to truly find himself.

    Unfortunately, NC is not generally the basis of helping someone find their way back, it is a mechanism to help them move on. Perhaps you need to understand better your part in the separation and start focusing on how you can be a better person instead trying to go back to a state of status quo that caused the separation in the first place.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are you still living together? What do you mean by "separated"? Legally separated? Have either of you filed for divorce? As long as you are not legally separated you are still married and therefore all your assets, income, debt, etc are all still jointly owned as while married. This means you are responsible for any expenses/debt he incurs on this road trip.

    You need an attorney to sort this out asap and get your finances in order. What does he mean by 'year-long road trip'? If this is abandonment you need to act now and get an attorney asap. No one can simply drive away from a marriage without legally dissolving it first. It sounds like you are being scammed.
    Originally Posted by DianeAllen
    My husband and I are separated, even though we still spend time together. He is going away soon on a 12mth road trip and it is killing me, that I won't see him. He has suggested that I fly in fly out to catch up with him sometime, but money is going to be the problem.

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    Hi Hollyj
    We weren't getting along for a while with a lot of agueing about everything. I suggested therapy but my husband was not a believer in it.

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