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Dating started off fast and dyed out.?


AtlasFink

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FYI mostly venting..

 

Met a female and talked to her a few weeks before asking her out.. We would always text.. She would send me pics of her, her daughter and what she was doing constantly..

 

We finally decided to meet up for a date.. Went quite well, ate some Tex Mex and few drinks.. Afterwards went to my place to chit chat.. She changed clothes and stayed the night.. What impressed me about that is she cuddled me..

 

She has kids and goes to church so we were going to meet up every 2 wks.. She said that her father was going to come into town.. Decided to visit mine that same weekend.. Well, her father was coming in on Sunday and she wanted to go see my parents.. Then she got a text that her father was coming that night.. Went back to my place for a few, she said she didn't wanna leave and then went to pick up her father..

 

Now, that was a week ago.. Everything was nice till i f'd up and started talking about my feels.. She said it was mutual.. Called me pet names and blew kiss yada yada.. Then died out after Tues and got cold.. Asked her how she felt about our relationship.. "Well...I met your parents...and, I don't really do that if im not down for the long run" ok sure.. Told her I was invited to a wedding and she joked about what she would wear if I invited her.. Of course i did, and she said she would love too..

 

Now yesterday she wished me good morning we text a few and she went to church.. responded to her a few hours later cause i was busy.. No response.. Messaged her few before her show came on last night.. No response..

 

So, was thinking eh let it go and don't text again.. Thks for letting me vent lol

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How long have you actually known her, and how many times have you met in person?

 

I would always be wary of people who zoom through courtship, as they're often diving in for the wrong reasons. As it stands, she is dialing back the texting - and it could be unrelated to you. You will know soon enough if it's a reflection of waning interest.

 

Don't message her again. You've sent the last couple messages, so wait to hear from her now.

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I've only known her maybe month and 1/2.. Seen here in person.. Twice..

 

It felt like it was going to fast and dropped.. In person, we got along so well.. Yes, I agree with the zooming part.. Eh

 

Tks for the response.. FYI, don't plan on texting.. We're suppose to meet up Thurs and she is gonna try to get Friday off.. So she has to text if that is still on..

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Given that you have only met twice, I would take a deep breath and slow down.

 

Texting build up a false sense of intimacy, when you are actually still essentially strangers to each other. Two dates isn't enough to determine if it's going anywhere, let alone involve the parents. You would be wise to keep both feet on the ground until you get to know her better and evaluate if there is true compatibility and not just the thrill of getting attention when your phone lights up with a notification from her.

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Yep too much too fast OP. It's important to stay grounded and objective in the early stages of dating. Choose a style and cadence of communication that is consistent... that slowly builds intimacy while being sustainable... giving you both something to look forward to and also time to miss each other.

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Maew:

 

Wasn't paying attention to the sign's.. When we first started talking she kept trying to invite herself over.. She kept sayin' how she wanted to 'teach' me how to do certain things.. Ex. correct way to do laundry, how to cook and do team work in the kitchen, how to dance.. Ment to slow it down and she was coming so fast at me.!!

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Maew:

 

Wasn't paying attention to the sign's.. When we first started talking she kept trying to invite herself over.. She kept sayin' how she wanted to 'teach' me how to do certain things.. Ex. correct way to do laundry, how to cook and do team work in the kitchen, how to dance.. Ment to slow it down and she was coming so fast at me.!!

 

You don't see any of this as red flags? You don't even know her. She could be casing your home and seeing what jewelry she could manage to find in your bedroom drawer as she goes into the bathroom to get the laundry. She could've pretended to be a churchgoer to make you think she's an ethical christian. Am I paranoid? Well, my husband said when he was younger and first started dating a girl, she had a couple of friends over who used his bathroom and then days later, he found the wedding band set he'd inherited from his grandparents was stolen.

 

She immediately sent you a photo of her daughter? I was careful while doing OLD about mentioning my daughters/showing their photos at the beginning because I didn't know if a guy was a child molester or not, and dating me to get close to my child. Yes, in this day and age, men and women need to be on the alert and not have the naivety to assume a person has as good a heart as you.

 

And wanting to meet your parents after 2 dates, and bringing extra clothes for your first date and spending the night with someone she's physically known a few hours? Either she's a clueless flake or she's a con woman.

 

Don't be coerced into doing things you're uncomfortable with. If a person fades away because you've set up reasonable boundaries, then good riddens. Just because someone attractive doesn't mean you should go full in. Take a wait and see attitude, because every new day, the person will be giving you the info you need to either move ahead with them or to cut them loose. You don't have all the info you need after 2 dates, and you won't even have it after 4 months, if you even make it to that point with her.

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Maew:

 

Wasn't paying attention to the sign's.. When we first started talking she kept trying to invite herself over.. She kept sayin' how she wanted to 'teach' me how to do certain things.. Ex. correct way to do laundry, how to cook and do team work in the kitchen, how to dance.. Ment to slow it down and she was coming so fast at me.!!

 

Are you new to dating Atlas? I don't say that to be sarcastic or demeaning more from a place of curiosity, as those of us who have dated for awhile know this as pretty classic love bombing or stage 5 clinger behavior. She could also be a con as Andrina points out.

 

It can be addicting having someone shower us with love and attention when we are feeling lonely, sad, or unfulfilled but it's usually a sign that it will burn out quickly because it's impossible to sustain.

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Holy Scoopy snacks..

Did not think about this at all.. Was blinded by the light..

Can tell you, she seems more of a flake than a con.. She was always next to me and nothing was missing when she left..

Yes, she would send me photos of everything.!! Even selfie almost every morning saying have a good day.. Plus her at church..

 

Andrina, wow.. My perspective of what's going on wasn't clear until I decided to actually vent and then came the advice.. Which I am actually going to take..

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I'm confused. You think it's over because she didn't text you back ONE day?? I have texts from people that they sent me days ago that I haven't gotten around to responding to. Maybe she got busy. You said she is a parent.

 

And on that note, I would be more concerned about the fact that she sent a man she barely knew photos of her child...

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