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Thread: Ex-wife resents my success?!?!?! Why???

  1. #1
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    Ex-wife resents my success?!?!?! Why???

    It has been a little over 2 years that we are divorced and reaching almost +8 months of No Contact (it was to my understanding that she wanted a friendship, while I was uncomfortable to the idea). Our last contact was at the end of June to discus taxes because she forgot to change her address.

    Not to brag, but I moved from a small town to Hollywood, California, making 5x times the salary I was making, hanging out with celebrities for film and entertainment projects, and I recently found that my ex-wife is jealous and resents my success.

    When she decided to divorce me, she moved to another city to make the big bucks as a medical doctor. I now make twice her salary. While I was happy for her, encouraging her, celebrating her success, sending Graduation and Christmas cards, now she resents me?!?

    Just to clarify, I never wanted this stupid divorce. I worked hard to save my marriage, and even after the divorce was finalised, I gave her lots of time to change her mind, gave her many chances, and was hoping and praying for a reconciliation. I even visited my Archbishop and prayed every night for her success.After 4 years of trying to save my marriage, I moved on and got remarried.

    Now that my ex-wife hits 40, and still single, she resents me to no end. I have to admit, I makes me scratch my head. Question is, why is she so upset? Is it because I have a new trophy wife who is younger and prettier, and more successful? Is it because I have a higher salary than hers as a doctor? Is it because I moved on and I implemented No Contact? (She was not even reciprocating the friendship that she absolutely wanted). Now, it's as if she has lost her identity!! I don't even recognise her anymore.

    Why is she upset all of a sudden?? Why?? Grateful if someone can provide me with some insight, as I am not an expert in psychology post-divorce.

  2. #2
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    What makes you think shes upset?

    For someone whos married, you sure refer to your ex-wife a lot (see previous threads).

    Really, who cares what your ex thinks. Why do you care?

    You need to focus more on your wife and stop obsessing over your ex.

    Id recommend seeking a therapist, because in all honesty dan, you seem to have these recurring, obsessive thoughts about your ex, and therefore I feel sorry for your current wife.

    I think an intervention is needed.
    Last edited by milly007; 02-25-2019 at 12:50 AM.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by milly007
    What makes you think shes upset?

    For someone whos married, you sure refer to your ex-wife a lot (see previous threads).

    Really, who cares what your ex thinks. Why do you care?

    You need to focus more on your wife and stop obsessing over your ex.

    Id recommend seeking a therapist, because in all honesty Dan, I feel sorry for your current wife.
    I was just coming here to say exactly this. She is your ex wife and what she thinks / feels / does is absolutely none of your business anymore. Instead of asking why she is upset ask yourself why you are upset that she isn't falling all over herself to be nice to you.

    She is your ex and has been for 4 years... you claim to be happy and successful with a new job and new wife... stop being so co-dependent with your ex and move on.

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    Just to add, I get the feeling that you want your ex to be upset or resentful towards you. I think youd take pleasure in this because in some warped way, youre seeking revenge for her wanting a divorce (something you never wanted).

    And if she is resentful towards you, this means she isnt happy, and this is exactly what youre hoping for. Youre out for blood and you want her to regret divorcing you.

    Im hoping Im wrong, but highly unlikely.

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  6. #5
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    I have to agree with the posts above. Two years since you're divorced. 8 Months since last contact. You are now also remarried .... yet YOU seem obsessed with your ex wife and what she thinks about you and what you do etc etc. WHY? She's the EX. It's over. Done and dusted. You should no longer care.

    Focus on your current marriage and the future.

  7. #6
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    Who cares. Why don't you block her and move on with your life, once and for all.

    Oh goodness, you are remarried and posting about this. I feel sorry for your wife.

  8. #7
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    I feel sorry for your current wife, too. Your ex is an irrelevance, especially as your life is apparently going so well, but you're still obsessing about her. It seems that you're more interested in her reaction than you are in the great life you're leading now.

    If you don't want your new marriage to go the same way as your last one - forget, block and purge the ex, and put your energy into your new relationship.

  9. #8
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    What has she said or done to indicate that she is upset with you and resents you?

    You claim she does, which may be true, but offer no examples to support that assertion.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This is more a case of your schadenfreude and sour grapes than her being jealous of you. If you "moved on and got remarried to a trophy wife", why bother keeping score in this mental competition?
    Originally Posted by askdan
    I recently found that my ex-wife is jealous and resents my success.
    When she decided to divorce me, she moved to another city to make the big bucks as a medical doctor. I now make twice her salary.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Who cares if your ex wife resents you or not, specially if you're on No Contact? As far as I can see you two don't have kids with each other, so it's not like it's relevant to be on good terms or not.

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