Ex-wife resents my success?!?!?! Why???

It has been a little over 2 years that we are divorced and reaching almost +8 months of No Contact (it was to my understanding that she wanted a friendship, while I was uncomfortable to the idea). Our last contact was at the end of June to discus taxes because she forgot to change her address.

Not to brag, but I moved from a small town to Hollywood, California, making 5x times the salary I was making, hanging out with celebrities for film and entertainment projects, and I recently found that my ex-wife is jealous and resents my success.

When she decided to divorce me, she moved to another city to make the big bucks as a medical doctor. I now make twice her salary. While I was happy for her, encouraging her, celebrating her success, sending Graduation and Christmas cards, now she resents me?!?

Just to clarify, I never wanted this stupid divorce. I worked hard to save my marriage, and even after the divorce was finalised, I gave her lots of time to change her mind, gave her many chances, and was hoping and praying for a reconciliation. I even visited my Archbishop and prayed every night for her success.After 4 years of trying to save my marriage, I moved on and got remarried.

Now that my ex-wife hits 40, and still single, she resents me to no end. I have to admit, I makes me scratch my head. Question is, why is she so upset? Is it because I have a new trophy wife who is younger and prettier, and more successful? Is it because I have a higher salary than hers as a doctor? Is it because I moved on and I implemented No Contact? (She was not even reciprocating the friendship that she absolutely wanted). Now, it's as if she has lost her identity!! I don't even recognise her anymore.

Why is she upset all of a sudden?? Why?? Grateful if someone can provide me with some insight, as I am not an expert in psychology post-divorce.

What makes you think she’s upset?

For someone who’s married, you sure refer to your ex-wife a lot (see previous threads).

Really, who cares what your ex thinks. Why do you care?

You need to focus more on your wife and stop obsessing over your ex.

I’d recommend seeking a therapist, because in all honesty dan, you seem to have these recurring, obsessive thoughts about your ex, and therefore I feel sorry for your current wife.

I think an intervention is needed.

What makes you think she’s upset?

 

For someone who’s married, you sure refer to your ex-wife a lot (see previous threads).

 

Really, who cares what your ex thinks. Why do you care?

 

You need to focus more on your wife and stop obsessing over your ex.

 

I’d recommend seeking a therapist, because in all honesty Dan, I feel sorry for your current wife.

I was just coming here to say exactly this. She is your ex wife and what she thinks / feels / does is absolutely none of your business anymore. Instead of asking why she is upset ask yourself why you are upset that she isn't falling all over herself to be nice to you.

She is your ex and has been for 4 years... you claim to be happy and successful with a new job and new wife... stop being so co-dependent with your ex and move on.

Just to add, I get the feeling that you want your ex to be upset or resentful towards you. I think you’d take pleasure in this because in some warped way, you’re seeking revenge for her wanting a divorce (something you never wanted).

And if she is resentful towards you, this means she isn’t happy, and this is exactly what you’re hoping for. You’re out for blood and you want her to regret divorcing you.

I’m hoping I’m wrong, but highly unlikely.

I have to agree with the posts above. Two years since you're divorced. 8 Months since last contact. You are now also remarried .... yet YOU seem obsessed with your ex wife and what she thinks about you and what you do etc etc. WHY? She's the EX. It's over. Done and dusted. You should no longer care.

Focus on your current marriage and the future.

Who cares. Why don't you block her and move on with your life, once and for all.

Oh goodness, you are remarried and posting about this. I feel sorry for your wife.

I feel sorry for your current wife, too. Your ex is an irrelevance, especially as your life is apparently going so well, but you're still obsessing about her. It seems that you're more interested in her reaction than you are in the great life you're leading now.

If you don't want your new marriage to go the same way as your last one - forget, block and purge the ex, and put your energy into your new relationship.

What has she said or done to indicate that she is upset with you and resents you?

You claim she does, which may be true, but offer no examples to support that assertion.

This is more a case of your schadenfreude and sour grapes than her being jealous of you. If you "moved on and got remarried to a trophy wife", why bother keeping score in this mental competition?

I recently found that my ex-wife is jealous and resents my success.

When she decided to divorce me, she moved to another city to make the big bucks as a medical doctor. I now make twice her salary.

Who cares if your ex wife resents you or not, specially if you're on No Contact? As far as I can see you two don't have kids with each other, so it's not like it's relevant to be on good terms or not.

Five or six threads about your ex wife over the past six months (including one asking if you could get her attention by losing weight). Not one about your current wife.

I think you "resent" your ex wife for not wanting you back. Not the other way around.

Five or six threads about your ex wife over the past six months (including one asking if you could get her attention by losing weight). Not one about your current wife.

 

I think you "resent" your ex wife for not wanting you back. Not the other way around.

I didnt look into the other threads. This is very disturbing and obsessive and I feel very bad for the new wife.

OP have you considered therapy? This is not healthy at all! It'd be one thing if all these threads were a short time after the break up, but years after and while married to someone else? It might be of your benefit and your current wife to get professional help.

Why would you refer to your second wife as a trophy? That is so objectifying and disrespectful. Do you even know what the term trophy wife means? It doesn’t mean a beautiful wife who is beloved. It means a beautiful woman whom a man has married for the sole purpose of increases his perception of his status in the public eye. What a cold way to view someone with whom you have shared vows. It’s not surprising that your first wife insisted upon divorcing you. You should do what it takes to better your attitude before your current wife insist upon divorce as well.

I feel like this is a troll.....

This is clearly not about your ex-wife but about you and your unfinished feelings for her what ever those may be.

Go back and read your old threads, it is a hug red flag the torch you are carrying around for this woman.

I don't think she resents you, I think you resent her still for divorcing you and you are trying to punish her in someway.

Lost

I feel like this is a troll.....

Careful, I got an infraction for stating the same even though... well... Nevermind.

Sounds like the OP is trying to "win" the divorce. Personally I feel like a dude who feels he has to brag about his salary/working with celebrities etc is deeply insecure.

I doubt she resents your "success" but I think you want her to. You should get some help. Your current wife can't be loving this obsession over your ex.

If this is true, I'm scared for the safety of the ex wife. This obsession doesn't seem innocuous, it almost seems angry and violent.

Well, i’’ve easily surpassed +8 months of No Contact with the ex! One thing I’ve noticed is that the feelings of anger and animosity are gone, and I honestly do wish her the best. I did prayed for her success and happiness on her Birthday last year.

Not bad, for someone who is accused of being obsessed and having harmful intentions! I do feel sorry for people here who are still struggling and trapped in negativity.

Remember, No Contact is your best friend!

Your NC Champion

😃

*Opens thread*

*Reads post*

*Closes thread*

She wanted to monkey branch to a better option and she failed to secure a better man. Hypergamy fails very often. I suggest you read the rational male.

Thanks Tomthumb88, that’s the best feedback I have received so far. It makes a lot of sense.

And just as an update, today has been 250 days of No Contact with my ex! :-)

Why did you remarry if you are still marking the days of no contact? I feel badly for your current wife. You should be to the point where you are not counting days about your ex when you remarry. The ex should not really be on the front of your radar - unless it was amicable, the ex has become friends with your wife to be and she is at the front of your mind because she just sent a thoughtful card to you and your new bride. I can't tell you how long it has been since i had contact with my ex--- i would have to sit and think about it a moment if i was asked vs immediately have the number of days and months ready at the tip of my tongue. Its all too fresh. I really hope your current marriage lasts, but when the resentment of your ex finally fades, i wonder what condition your marriage will be i (if you married your now-wife comparing her to ex - because she was similar or opposite, etc.0

Dan, did you marry your current "trophy wife" to get your ex's attention and to make her jealous?