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Thread: My uncle is very overprotective towards my cousin

  1. #11
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    New Jersey
    Wouldn't there be a point that he should put it in the past and trust my cousin more?
    I think it's a more constructive point that 'shoulding' on anyone doesn't buy much beyond a power struggle and resentments--the opposite of trust.

    If cousin is smart enough to earn her father's trust in her judgment rather than argue her way into that power struggle, she can negotiate with her father as an adult who is capable of handling herself in the outside world.

    She can research negotiating techniques and adopt a sensitivity to her father's history that doesn't view the man as mistrustful of HER, but rather of her safety. So she can offer him specific behaviors such as regular check in's, the ability to 'interview' her dates--who she has prepared for the grill with an explanation of her father's history, and learning other trade-offs from her father that will help him to feel more confident.

    Cousin can feel lucky that her father is allowing her to date at all, given his history, which means that he's trying. She can find ways to help him to gain more comfort in her life skills rather than view him as her adversary.

  2. 04-17-2019, 06:51 AM

  3. #12
    they are controlling and overprotective as long as she lives with them, she must follow the house rules and the family's honor and norms if she violates the rules and the standards she is punished. I know how such families and parents are.
    because I also live in a family with a norm of honor and I am moving out the only way to move out is to seek jobs and universities in another place. here is my advice to your cousin you should not let them push you down so that you lose your confidence so that they think you are weak because it is their way of controlling you so you lose your self-esteem you should resist them and you should not let them decide on your life
    If you do, you let them control you and decide for you and then you cannot decide on your life and be an independent girl.
    you should be strong and show them that you are not dependent on them and can be independent
    and make your own decisions

  4. #13
    When a parent incessantly worries, tracks, or snoops on a child (via cellular devices, social media, or by reading private content such as written diaries), the child loses their sense of individuality and sense of self. The parent tries to pacify their fears by digging into their child's private life rather than developing a healthy relationship founded on trust and open communication. Parents who worry about catastrophic events and bar their child from living life raise an adult who will be risk-averse later in life.

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