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Thread: Mismatched sex drives

  1. #11
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Natasha207
    HELP! Update!



    He has now offered information that he suffers from episodes of mania followed by depression. Could this explain the wavering libido?
    Is he on medication for this? Is he bipolar? That might definitely explain his low or fluctuating interest.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Is he on medication for this? Is he bipolar That might explain his low interest.
    Hey- nope he is no longer medicated for the condition. He did mention before that when he was on SSRIs he had troubles with that area.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Natasha207
    Hey- nope he is no longer medicated for the condition. He did mention before that when he was on SSRIs he had troubles with that area.
    OK. So this is what you have. What are you going to do about it?

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You are fortunate he reveled that he has a serious mental illness after only dating 8 weeks. Before you jump in too deep educate yourself on what you could be getting into. It would be a good idea to read up on bipolar disorder.

    The condition itself and medications tend to have a huge impact on libido and sexuality. This has nothing to do with your attractiveness. It has to do with his mental illness and possibly medications. Cut your losses, since you are already quite incompatible and questioning yourself..

    Stop doing this, throwing yourself at someone rarely works.
    Originally Posted by Natasha207
    Ps. I tried flirty and dirty texting but he usually responds with shock and laughter.... like "omg hahaha"

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  6. #15
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    I'm sorry. This guy isn't all that. You've only had one experienced relationship and you don't see that there are better guys. If this guy looks like he's not enjoying it. He's not enjoying it. And you've got to find someone who likes what you have to give. You need a guy whose just as much about sex as you are.

    If this guy doesn't initiate he really doesn't want it.

    If you want to have sex every day, you probably want someone who wants to have sex every day. And it really doesn't matter who he is as long as your getting the sex you want if that's your goal.

    Also talking to guys is a sure way to kill their libido. You want the guy to have no brain and just be a penis with legs if you want his blood to flow down there. Talking to him is just going to make him think.

    Libido is physiologically the lack of the ability to think, and that's why sex feels good. It's a vacation from your brain.

    On the other hand there are plenty of predators and mind tripping people you do not want. Going into the sex every day scene is just as hard as never having sex. And being inexperienced you've got to figure out who's who for each and every person you see.

    Learn how to read eyes, facial character, and body language like a pro. Look at some pornography and pay attention to their interactions and try to figure out which ones are acting and which ones are really feeling it.

    I wouldn't suggest shooting pornography, that tears a lot of women apart. I've seen porn stars that turn 30, quit pornography and they're just totally dissatisfied with their whole lives, or they stay in porn and become ugly hag shows.

    Just be careful, you're basically hunting for a really decent sex addict and there are good sex addicts but they're scarce.

    Being inexperienced you might want to find an inexperienced guy and turn him into a beast, but you'll have to purge that insecurity, good boy, or cutsy out of him. And you might have to do this a few times before it works.

    Just remember, when you're doing it, for goodness sake, don't think.

  7. #16
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    The beginning of a relationship is an exciting time. The other person should be very EXCITED about you.
    With one caveat - you are not living together or seeing eachother every day so expecting sex really often is not realistic.At this stage, you should be going on dates doing fun things to get to know eachother and not be so focused on constantly figuring out the next sexual encounter.
    Honestly, if you have not had much relationship experience, i would opt out of dating someone who has a mental illness. You aren't super thrilled about this guy to begin with and have to really work at/cajol him this soon in the relationship. You are VERY focused on the sexual aspect and i wish you would look at this other aspect. If this is his "high' time when he is out doing new things -- imagine when he swings the other way and is low?

    Go on coffee dates with different guys -- don't attach yourself to this one -- i would look elsewhere.

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