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How to proceed ? New baby and relationship issue-


Focusfocus

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Hi there,

 

Me and my partner have a newborn and since our child’s arrival, I am much worried over the relationship I have with my partner.

 

I have to admit right away and say that my partner did show signs from the very beginning and yet, I was naive enough to think things could change ..

 

All in all, my partner is wonderful with our little one. He truly cares for our child : plays everyday , changes diapers, feeds , tends to all needs (we share tasks 50/50) . He is on pat leave but works full time while I work part Time.

As of late however, he tends to be unstable. He’s often negative and doesn’t feel good or tends to be ill every 2 days . When he’s ill he seems to exagerate things and it’s always so sudden.

Im afraid of raising a child in this instability..

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Why did you post this so many times?

 

Have you considered maybe you’re a little manic post partum?

 

I’m asking because you aren’t clarifying the actual issue. That’s not fair to him and quite frankly to the people you’re asking advice from.

 

Either pinpoint and verbalize the issue or accept your hormones need a bit to settle and enjoy your new baby.

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Hi Focusfocus

 

I have to admit right away and say that my partner did show signs from the very beginning and yet, I was naive enough to think things could change ..

Can you please clarify this? He showed signs from the very beginning of what exactly? Of your relationship? Of your child being born?

 

He’s often negative

Please clarify this, too. He's often negative in what way? Does he complain? If so, what does he complain about?

 

 

Also, wow was his situation at work before being on parental leave? Whilst being on leave is he still doing things for work? Some people work even when on holiday (because they feel they have to or whatever reason). Does he enjoy his job?

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It sounds like you are both stressed in your own ways dealing with new parenthood. Perhaps he's depressed, anxious, tired, etc. Does he usually have "man-flu" issues? If this is recently it will pass. Perhaps some help from family and friends with the baby would help.

As of late however, he tends to be unstable. He’s often negative and doesn’t feel good or tends to be ill every 2 days . When he’s ill he seems to exagerate things and it’s always so sudden.

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Thank you for your reply wiseman2,

 

I suppose that could be quite probable. Before our child was born, he acted the same way just never as intense : he would have migraines that would come and go, was often tired and always needed to rest it seems. I knew it was probably triggered due to stress since he does work in very stressful environment ..

 

It’s now the same case just doubled in intensity ..

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