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Thread: 2 men, nothing but problems

  1. #51
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Gb83
    Yes... started seeing a therapist and told my husband I was unhappy and didn’t think we should be together when I realized I was feeling things for this other person and was going to be Inappropriate... then my husband agreed we had issues and said he was wanting the divorce also... so, rather than do stuff behind his back I told him I wanted out...
    Ok, so now commit to the divorce, solving things with an attorney and all that and don't monkey branch to a married man. You're pregnant, your main concern should be the child and its well being, not affairs with married men.

  2. #52
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    Originally Posted by Annia
    Ok, so now commit to the divorce, solving things with an attorney and all that and don't monkey branch to a married man. You're pregnant, your main concern should be the child and its well being, not affairs with married men.
    I agree!!!!!!!!

  3. #53
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    You've positioned yourself badly by using this man as a distraction from investing your focus in building your own life solo. Instead, you're taking a front row seat to witness a man's capacity for disloyalty--where even if you 'win,' you lose.

    If the guy ever leaves his wife, you'll enjoy a sense of victory for about 5 minutes before it occurs to you that you've just promoted yourself from the woman he's disloyal 'with' to the one he'll be disloyal 'to'.

    It's all downhill from there.

    When someone shows you their ability to be disloyal to someone they once claimed to love, believe it.

  4. #54
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    You've positioned yourself badly by using this man as a distraction from investing your focus in building your own life solo. Instead, you're taking a front row seat to witness a man's capacity for disloyalty--where even if you 'win,' you lose.

    If the guy ever leaves his wife, you'll enjoy a sense of victory for about 5 minutes before it occurs to you that you've just promoted yourself from the woman he's disloyal 'with' to the one he'll be disloyal 'to'.

    It's all downhill from there.

    When someone shows you their ability to be disloyal to someone they once claimed to love, believe it.
    But if it is a situation like mine where you’re slready having major problems, already living on opposite coasts of the country & have discussed separation and hardly see or talk to each other, then I find it very different from blindsiding the other person who thought all was well

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  6. #55
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    Originally Posted by Gb83
    But if it is a situation like mine where you’re slready having major problems, already living on opposite coasts of the country & have discussed separation and hardly see or talk to each other, then I find it very different from blindsiding the other person who thought all was well
    I'm flabbergasted that people still buy this BS.

    You got all that info from him, right?

  7. #56
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I'm flabbergasted that people still buy this BS.

    You got all that info from him, right?
    ? I know how far apart they actually do live and how little they do see each other. Regardless, I’m not sleeping with him if he isn’t separated. So I really don’t think it matters, I’m not going to be that stupid.
    However I don’t know why my husband has a say when every convo is him talking about how we’re getting divorced, and when he’d (prior to that) chosen to go Hours away from me unnecessarily for 5 years.

  8. #57
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    Then end the marriage. I do not understand how you can bring an innocent child into a marriage that is finished!

    Why haas t this guy gotten a divorce?

  9. #58
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Then end the marriage. I do not understand how you can bring an innocent child into a marriage that is finished!

    Why haas t this guy gotten a divorce?
    Sounds like worries about impact upon the kids & no real “incentive” to do it as neither person had been interested in being w anyone else (until him w me now) & they figured could just live far apart & sleep in separate rooms when in same place and just go along that way, why not.

    I agree, I feel bad and that’s why I wonder if I should ignore all my husbands shortcomings (including willingness to move multiple states away for 5 years, when he could’ve accomplished career goals just fine right here, just a training program that’s top 5 or so instead of #1) and just stay with him and move to wherever he goes.... since I have no options as he says I’m the one breaking up the family if I don’t follow (even though HE’S the one leaving our stable life here)... that’ll also suck for the child since my job here is the least hours for the pay that I’ll ever find, and I’m the only one who actually makes $ in the family and will for years to come. So I’ll be gone from the child much more and Lord knows my husband won’t be around much bc of all his Many work pursuits. But at least then we’d be an “intact family.”

  10. #59
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    So I read the whole thread and I mean no disrespect to anyone because I respect the heck out of all of you,
    but seriously...

    How did no one pick up on the fact that her husband is the one who’s pulling away?

    If I’m following correctly her affair was in retailiation.

    To him pulling away wanting her to move all these changes and him being distant, the pregnancy to have something to love... affair is the next logical step...

    She still loves her husband I think.

    They don’t need a divorce, they need a good therapist.

    I realize this response is probably too little too late I’m going to go check your other thread now.

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