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Thread: 2 men, nothing but problems

  1. #31
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    The baby is not born yet. How do you know what time will be spent?

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    The baby is not born yet. How do you know what time will be spent?
    Just inferring based upon how he’s been with me/other family vs prioritizing work, AND that he’s willing to move hours away for a slightly better training program - which would mean him only able to see baby on weekends- of course he guilts me for not being willing to leave current stable situation by saying I’m the one breaking up the family by not moving. Are you kidding, I make a high 6 figures and yes could do that elsewhere, but I’m very aware that I’d be working twice as much bc I have a hard to get job, and that I’m comfortable here and my coworkers know me as a hard worker which all seems so good for having a newborn.

  3. #33
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    Cut off the affair and get a divorce!

  4. #34
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Firstly, bringing a child into this world because your situation is bad and you hope it'll make the marriage work, never works.
    Secondly, bringing a child into this world to be your friend, to make you feel like someone loves you, etc, is also a very backwards reason for creating a child.
    You can't hold a child responsible for your happiness, nor should it ever be like that.

    As for this other guy, he IS a sleaze. He has his own darn wife and child to think of and to work things out with. His son should come first, he should be worrying if his son feels loved or taken care of, etc. YOUR child is not his problem or his business.

    I wonder why he would ever start getting involved with a married woman in the first place. It shows very low character to do that. Do you not see that?
    You are both starting out with cheating, lying, a very bad beginning and a very complicated one.

    To be honest, OP, you've got very backwards ideas on so many things.
    Agree with all of this.

    Really screwed-up to bring a kid into the world because you are lonely.

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  6. #35
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    Does it really make sense to get a divorce? All relationships will have problems and unhappiness and life will be simpler if we try to stay together for the child. That said, all he’s been reiterating for weeks is that he wants a divorce because I don’t respect him and we have issues... Yet tonight we finally have a normal convo and then he ruins it by asking if I texted my friend today...how is that your business when you only tell me repeatedly that we are over?? My response was an honest “he texted me once in last few days, just now, and I ignored it the whole time you & I were talking bc I found that more important.” But come on, this was far from the only issue between us and I told him repeatedly that if it were, then it’d be a no brainer for me to stop talking to this person. But my husband has been the one continually insisting things are over so what does it matter and why does he even have right to ask?

  7. #36
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    I think it is best to get divorced. You don’t respect him . He doesn’t respect you. He has an affair stuffed in his face. What would there be to show a child? Children should be shown loving and happy parents who love each other and can emulate a good relationship to them.

  8. #37
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    Well, I could certainly apologize and cut off contact w this person but my husband claims he didn’t feel respected and we had lots of problems long before that, which I agree with. This other person was a symptom of what was already broken between us, not the cause, and so I don’t see what stopping contact w him will magically fix for the relationship overall. But if I also forced myself to change my views and found a way to act totally differently and moved wherever he wanted from now on ignoring my own wishes & career then...

  9. #38
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    So get divorced and make a plan to co parent.

  10. #39
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    I think we will regret that somehow and we should try to have a good intact family. Even if it results in me giving things up and not feeling happy or like all my needs are met. Whose ever really are? At least if I’m kind of unhappy personally I’ll know I’m doing my part to have a stable environment for the child.

  11. #40
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    Children know when parents are not happy.

    However, if you want your marriage to work you need to give up side guy this second and find a suitable arrangement for both you and your husband. But side guy needs to go , period.

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