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Thread: 2 men, nothing but problems

  1. #11
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Gb83
    By that logic I’m betraying mine by not staying with my child’s father. I just feel the baby will pick up on our resentment and frequent arguing.
    Cheating on your children is betraying them getting divorced is not . My own parents are divorced I do not see that as a betrayal . I see that as thank God !

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    From the David Wygant website:
    Wow! How many times do women get suckered into this?

    Here’s the deal: this is what a married man does.

    A married man with no balls is going to stay married. A lot of the times married men stay married because they don’t want to split their pie in half.

    They talk to their attorney, they find out that it’s cheaper to stay married and cheat than it is to leave her and pay her half of everything.

    They do it from a financial standpoint.

    Married men go out looking for women all of the time. They try to find the woman that is at her weakest moment, a woman that will actually believe that story that they’re selling.

    And this story has been passed down from generation to generation; it’s a story of, “I’m going to leave my wife, I love you, just give me time. I promise.”

    Time. They keep promising time.

    And the weak women always go for it and waste endless time with this type of man.

    And he’ll string them along as long because he doesn’t want to end the great sex he’s having.

    Sure, he could have real feelings too, but never strong enough to leave the wife and deal with all the stress of a divorce.

    If you’re dating a married man, you need to wake up. You need to stop dating him.

    Walk. Run. Do not look back, pass go, collect your $200, and get the hell out of dodge.

    If he calls and texts you, just respond with:

    You’re a married man. I’m not going there with you. I respect myself way too much.

    If you really want to get to know me, move out of your house. I don’t care what story you have, I don’t care what issues you have—I’m not getting involved with another woman’s man.

    Do you get my point, ladies?

    Wake up.

  3. #13
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    Such good advice!! Makes me glad I have stuck to what I told him about not sleeping with him until actually separated. If I weren’t about to have a baby and have, you know, other priorities!!!, I would start dating others and if he wanted to come around once actually separated then great. I do understand it’s a really tough step to take for a lot of reasons. And that having known me for 2 months wouldn’t be a reason to trump all others immediately.... but of course everyone has to have a time limit to avoid wasting life, but considering I have zero plans to try dating anyone else for a long time anyhow w the upcoming baby- and that he’s expressed being very supportive w that, coming over any time of day or night when needed, going places with both me and the baby- it’s probably not awful for him to be around.

  4. #14
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Okay, you think that him being there for you night or day for a child not his and betray his own flesh and blood is a good idea ? That shows a really low quality man . It would be one thing if you were both divorced and met. But you’re both married with children.

    Once his wife finds out and she will. He won’t have two cents to spend on your child because he will be paying it all for his.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    From the David Wygant website:
    Wow! How many times do women get suckered into this?

    Here’s the deal: this is what a married man does.

    A married man with no balls is going to stay married. A lot of the times married men stay married because they don’t want to split their pie in half.

    They talk to their attorney, they find out that it’s cheaper to stay married and cheat than it is to leave her and pay her half of everything.

    They do it from a financial standpoint.

    Married men go out looking for women all of the time. They try to find the woman that is at her weakest moment, a woman that will actually believe that story that they’re selling.

    And this story has been passed down from generation to generation; it’s a story of, “I’m going to leave my wife, I love you, just give me time. I promise.”

    Time. They keep promising time.

    And the weak women always go for it and waste endless time with this type of man.

    And he’ll string them along as long because he doesn’t want to end the great sex he’s having.

    Sure, he could have real feelings too, but never strong enough to leave the wife and deal with all the stress of a divorce.

    If you’re dating a married man, you need to wake up. You need to stop dating him.

    Walk. Run. Do not look back, pass go, collect your $200, and get the hell out of dodge.

    If he calls and texts you, just respond with:

    You’re a married man. I’m not going there with you. I respect myself way too much.

    If you really want to get to know me, move out of your house. I don’t care what story you have, I don’t care what issues you have—I’m not getting involved with another woman’s man.

    Do you get my point, ladies?

    Wake up.
    As the exW of a man without a set [of ~], who is generally kind hearted and who has much respect for me and my family of origin, my values, and how I have raised the kids, who probably would say we love each other in some fashion... who came to my parent's funeral with tears streaming down his cheeks, a decade after our split, this post is exactly right. Spot on target.

    His need for affirmation was stronger than his conviction. Back when she was trying to wrangle him as her own, his (last) mistress pulled a lot of power plays. Even so he did not leave our marriage until extenuating circumstances prevailed AND there was nothing left for him financially. It had nothing to do with her.

    When they eventually married, he called to tell me -- and sounded like his dog had died and he lost his job all in one day. It was one of the most depressed voices I have heard from him.

    I see him much more kindly now as a result of my own growth, and his. But dang am I glad I am not his wife.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by IAmFCA
    As the exW of a man without a set [of ~], who is generally kind hearted and who has much respect for me and my family of origin, my values, and how I have raised the kids, who probably would say we love each other in some fashion... who came to my parent's funeral with tears streaming down his cheeks, a decade after our split, this post is exactly right. Spot on target.

    His need for affirmation was stronger than his conviction. Back when she was trying to wrangle him as her own, his (last) mistress pulled a lot of power plays. Even so he did not leave our marriage until extenuating circumstances prevailed AND there was nothing left for him financially. It had nothing to do with her.

    When they eventually married, he called to tell me -- and sounded like his dog had died and he lost his job all in one day. It was one of the most depressed voices I have heard from him.

    I see him much more kindly now as a result of my own growth, and his. But dang am I glad I am not his wife.
    ETA:

    Our kids are multiple times better off now than had we stayed together. It took a few years to turn the tide, and it has a lot to do with my own parenting, frankly. They will say now that they can't imagine us ever having been even the slightest bit interested in one another. Divorce restored order, as opposed to disrupting it.

    OP: The closer your interior life mirrors your exterior one, the more peaceful your life will be.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Okay, you think that him being there for you night or day for a child not his and betray his own flesh and blood is a good idea ? That shows a really low quality man . It would be one thing if you were both divorced and met. But you’re both married with children.
    Because they’ve been on the outs for years/discussing separation, she refused to move the kids out his way. And the specific job he took (certain type of attorney) pays way more than stuff in his home area, so he figures at least he can secure his children’s future and then some.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Gb83
    Such good advice!! Makes me glad I have stuck to what I told him about not sleeping with him until actually separated. If I weren’t about to have a baby and have, you know, other priorities!!!, I would start dating others and if he wanted to come around once actually separated then great. I do understand it’s a really tough step to take for a lot of reasons. And that having known me for 2 months wouldn’t be a reason to trump all others immediately.... but of course everyone has to have a time limit to avoid wasting life, but considering I have zero plans to try dating anyone else for a long time anyhow w the upcoming baby- and that he’s expressed being very supportive w that, coming over any time of day or night when needed, going places with both me and the baby- it’s probably not awful for him to be around.
    Wow... I feel like only half of what’s being said is getting through...

    “If I wasn’t pregnant I’d be dating around”

    You’re STILL legally married!!!!!

    Hormones are a hella thing... add to it an inability to be alone and you have a pregnant woman cheating in her husband who wants to leave with a man who gives her empty promises acting as if she has options...

    You don’t...

    You do indeed have obligations

    Divorce your husband

    Have your baby

    Heal

    Then and only then can you start to even begin to think about dating.

    Stop being manic and trying to void fill that’s all this married man is a void fill. He wouldn’t be appealing to you and the second you felt the void was filled trust me mischief like with your husband you’ll start to see his flaws too, and hello! You see how that worked. When desperate we accept all kinda scraps we wouldn’t even look twice at when healthy...

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Gb83
    Because they’ve been on the outs for years/discussing separation, she refused to move the kids out his way. And the specific job he took (certain type of attorney) pays way more than stuff in his home area, so he figures at least he can secure his children’s future and then some.
    This is a dream and you know it. You said he had a son i.e. a Instagram photos of the three of them . Now it’s children plural??

  11. #20
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    And his story is what every married cheater prattles on about. Ohhh we’ve on the outs for years ,were on the verge of divorce , we don’t have sex etc etc. Just on this site alone we probably heard that at least 100,000 times .

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