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He sleeps at his exs house to see child


2019helpme

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Am I over reacting or is my partner spending nights at his exs house to see their child wrong?

He was cheating on her and they broke up.

He says he sleeps on the sofa and nothing is going on and he’s there for he child only but I find it strange especially knowing he has tried to get back with her within the last year.

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this is a tough call. his history says he very well could attempt to cheat again. but it didn' work getting back with her so i can't see it working now (did she refuse or did they try and fail?)

other thoughts: why can't the kid come to your or his place instead of always being at the mom's place?

 

i'd be curious to know the answer to that last question...

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So part of what I didn’t share in post for help was I believe he’s still in love with his ex wife. He started pulling away while living with me and staying at his ex wife’s longer to be with his kids. I totally support kids come first however, there’s a balance to doing so and staying the night isn’t part of it

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I' not saying his cheating (but he has a cheating past though), but what's the logic in sleeping there? Why can't he visit the child during the day? Or even if he visits during the night, why can't he leave after the child is asleep? Makes no sense nor does it seem in the child's best interests.

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They say once a cheater always a cheater. I believe people can change but in his case I doubt he has. He does not need to sleep over her house ESPECIALLY if he's still in love w her. He shouldn't even be dating if he's not over her, which he clearly isn't. He's using the kids as a excuse to spend time w her and of you complain he can pull the "its for the kids card" therfore making you look and feel like the bad guy (which you're not). I would leave him and find a guy worthy of your time. Dtmfa

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How long have you been dating. Was he cheating on her with you? Yes, this is an odd arrangement. Why can't his children stay with him on his custody days? Are this ex/kids long distance? Unfortunately not only is this a weird arrangement, you don't trust him based on his past cheating and his attempts to get back with her.

 

Don't be a rebound or filler while he tries to renegotiate their relationship. He's not ready to date. It's that simple.

my partner spending nights at his exs house to see their child wrong?

He was cheating on her

he has tried to get back with her within the last year.

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We’ve been seeing each other for nearly 3 years.

He cheated on her with me then he told me they broke up before the child was born. He stays there because it’s a 45min drive back to where he lives.

I do find this is a weird arrangement he just said he was staying this time because the child was poorly and she’ had said she may need him.

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We’ve been seeing each other for nearly 3 years.

He cheated on her with me then he told me they broke up before the child was born. He stays there because it’s a 45min drive back to where he lives.

I do find this is a weird arrangement he just said he was staying this time because the child was poorly and she’ had said she may need him.

 

Most often than not the saying "how you get them is how you lose them" seems to be true.

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We’ve been seeing each other for nearly 3 years.

He cheated on her with me then he told me they broke up before the child was born. He stays there because it’s a 45min drive back to where he lives.

I do find this is a weird arrangement he just said he was staying this time because the child was poorly and she’ had said she may need him.

 

Right.

 

You know he's a liar and completely capable of cheating.

 

Again, why are you staying?

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