Boy friend wants me to unfriend a from our dart league

So I guy I’ve been seeing for 8 months thinks there’s something going between me and one the guys we shoot darts with. I understand where he’s coming from he said a couple weeks ago we were in each other’s personal space while talking. Honestly I don’t remember being so close to the guy. That night and three times since we have talked about it and I thought it was resolved. Today he reveals that he sees we are friends on Instagram or followers. Doesn’t like it and feels I should unfollow and block him.

Should I?

I don’t see any reason to. His jealousy has gotten out of hand.

We’ve been having a problem for the past 6 months but has gotten worse since October. He started pulling away from me communication is very little on his part and when I don’t text him he’ll text me to say you not talking... I’ve made it clear to him that he needs to own up to his actions and stop going so long without communication. With the exception of a couple of cousins, brother and out of state uncle no one else from his family knows about me. He had told me during the first month that his kids and ex wife did know, then he tells me they don’t and when he’s ready they will. I spent the holidays without him as result. He didn’t make anytime to be with and was gone all day and night on the holidays. Said he didn’t realize New Year’s Eve was a date night.

How can a person that was married for 23 years not know

This guy doesn’t sound like he’s worth your time .

nobody has the right to tell the other who they can have and keep in their lives and choose as friends - NOBODY.

As long as you are being loyal and not cheating or even flirting - why can't you have more friends, male friends even? I"m pretty sure he has no problem having female friends right?

Have a heart to heart and ask him what he is fearful of? Why is he so concerned with this guy? You are not interested in him. You are not romantic with him or feel anythign romantic for him. Shouldn't you both be able to continue make friends as you live your lives or is his philosophy that once you meet your love you can only ever talk to you loved one forever and that's it?

See what he says and we'll go from there.

Good luck.

Thank you so much!!! That’s all we’ve been talking about over the past two days and I’ve done and said everything I can. I’m just not getting this. I did as he suggested and talked to another friend which is a dart player too and he said she would tell me I was wrong. Well I did that after I posted here and she had no clue telling what I already know our friend is a good guy with no ill intentions and wants all of us to have fun... I thanked her for her time followed up with my boyfriend and he didn’t like the results.

On top of this ridiculousness he told the same friend to take me home instead of driving me home himself saying I had too much to drink.... trust me I had fraction of what I normally do...

Also he failed to address the problem with communication and spending time together outside of the nights he wants to come over....

I’ve tolerated that for far too long. I think it speaks volumes that he shifted to this false drama keeping the focus off of him and yet again shift it.

Last night he said bye it’s over which is the 3rd time, he doesn’t want to let go, I’m not going to plead or beg anymore

I know it’s going to turn into another round of honeymoon charm for a minute and a day later be right back here.

I’ve tried to be understanding and rash about everything.

As for his kids and ex wife not knowing. She had found out and didn’t like it threatened him with the kids so I understand that he smoothed it over over the months is at her house more with his kids... I wouldn’t get in the way of his kids or family as I wouldn’t want him to do that to me. However, it doesn’t excuse him not communicating which would normally be when he left..now that has extended past 6 pm and often I have to reach out to him. A couple weeks I didn’t hear from him in 2 days he tells me his 14 year son put his phone on airplane mode so he could listen to music looking up a rap artist... Lol

Pointed out that to him as we all no airplane mode equals no WiFi...lol

Still I’m hear. I believe I’ve given more than he deserves.

ah.. so he's a hot/cold guy, threaten then comeback guy, and super jealous right?

i didn't quite understand the rest of the story you told so i can't comment on all that.

the only question i have is: does he have female friends and if so - why is it okay for im to have them but you not have male friends (and your male friend isin public.... during DART league!)...

sounds like you should drop this one.

Yes very hot/cold..yes he does have females that follow him and he follows many. Yes Monday nights is the dart league the only other time I’ve seen him is a super bowl party that me and by boyfriend went and a birthday party for another friend in the dart league. I tried to make the same point

His argument is those I became friends with during our relationship. I also pointed out that I have added more from darts as we have developed friends over the past 4 months just as I’ve done with the pool league going back to September 2014

Never let someone tell you who you can spend time with. Period. If he doesn't trust you, and you are not cheating, it is time to leave and find someone who does. His controlling behavior is already abusive and could easily morph into something more sinister with time.

I agree, didn’t want to be irrational and I really wanted things to work out.. thank you

He doesn't seem that into the relationship plus his trust issues. I'd reconsider this guy if you goal is a committed and stable relationship.

He doesn't seem that into the relationship plus his trust issues. I'd reconsider this guy if you goal is a committed and stable relationship.

Add the other situation with sleeping over at his ex's house when he's admitted to still being in love with her, and I would say this is a walk away.

Thank you Anna

Read up on red flags for controlling relationships. Cut this jealous control freak loose before you get sucked in. No one, ever, should be telling you who to be friends with what to do on social media etc. Don't be naive enough to think controlling/possessive attitudes are cute or romantic and means he cares when in fact it's a huge red flag.

This jerk has issues. End it and delete and block him asap. He may also be a cheater in addition to being a loser/control freak.

So I guy I’ve been seeing for 8 months thinks there’s something going between me and one the guys we shoot darts with. Today he reveals that he sees we are friends on Instagram or followers. Doesn’t like it and feels I should unfollow and block him.

Add the other situation with sleeping over at his ex's house when he's admitted to still being in love with her, and I would say this is a walk away.

I think she said she wasn't the same person as the OP of that thread but I agree with you. Him still being in love with ex plus projecting on her by not trusting her and trying to control her should be enough to leave this dysfunctional relationship.

Only two months have been good. Three-quarters of your relationship has had problems, why have you continued?

If i was in a loud bar, someone would have to come into my personal space to be heard by me if we were talking.

I think that you should look elsewhere.

I think its totally fine that you have not met the children -- not fine that more of his family doesn't know you are dating.

I loved him now I feel like that is dead. I was trying to be understanding and patient, didn’t want to act rash. Now it’s at a point where he won’t let go, has driven past my house and doing more to monitor my activities. It’s very unhealthy and I feel stuck and don’t know how to make a clean break without any trouble.... you know what I mean?

Thank you. I greatly appreciate your response

Thank you Wiseman2

I greatly appreciate you taking the time to respond

Precisely

It just baffled me. He was on my case again over it this past Thursday into Friday afternoon.... it didn’t happen to me I wouldn’t have believed it... totally out there... he drove past my house last week didn’t know I had seen him, he’s been following me and that is making me uncomfortable

You need to block and delete him and all his people from All your messaging apps and social media. Check your local stalking laws. Change all your passwords. Change your locks if he has a key. Lock all your doors and windows. Call the cops if he is following you. It's up to you to take action to protect yourself from this loose canon. This behavior is ominous so pay attention.

He was on my case again over it this past Thursday into Friday afternoon he drove past my house last week didn’t know I had seen him, he’s been following me and that is making me uncomfortable

call the police and report him for stalking. Switch up your routine. Maybe a visit a friend one night or have them visit you

Thank you so much!!! That’s all we’ve been talking about over the past two days and I’ve done and said everything I can. I’m just not getting this. I did as he suggested and talked to another friend which is a dart player too and he said she would tell me I was wrong. Well I did that after I posted here and she had no clue telling what I already know our friend is a good guy with no ill intentions and wants all of us to have fun... I thanked her for her time followed up with my boyfriend and he didn’t like the results.

 

On top of this ridiculousness he told the same friend to take me home instead of driving me home himself saying I had too much to drink.... trust me I had fraction of what I normally do...

 

Also he failed to address the problem with communication and spending time together outside of the nights he wants to come over....

 

I’ve tolerated that for far too long. I think it speaks volumes that he shifted to this false drama keeping the focus off of him and yet again shift it.

 

Last night he said bye it’s over which is the 3rd time, he doesn’t want to let go, I’m not going to plead or beg anymore

 

 

I know it’s going to turn into another round of honeymoon charm for a minute and a day later be right back here.

 

I’ve tried to be understanding and rash about everything.

 

As for his kids and ex wife not knowing. She had found out and didn’t like it threatened him with the kids so I understand that he smoothed it over over the months is at her house more with his kids... I wouldn’t get in the way of his kids or family as I wouldn’t want him to do that to me. However, it doesn’t excuse him not communicating which would normally be when he left..now that has extended past 6 pm and often I have to reach out to him. A couple weeks I didn’t hear from him in 2 days he tells me his 14 year son put his phone on airplane mode so he could listen to music looking up a rap artist... Lol

 

Pointed out that to him as we all no airplane mode equals no WiFi...lol

 

Still I’m hear. I believe I’ve given more than he deserves.

So are you going to dump him and give up your dart league or are you just going to go through the motions and then take him back yet again? If you take him back, then you are basically telling him that he can treat you like a disposable napkin.

You may have to sacrifice your dart league so you can keep yourself in zero contact until you are in a more indifferent state of mind to him and his antics.