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Thread: It seems like sheís pulling away. What should I do or say?

  1. #1

    It seems like sheís pulling away. What should I do or say?

    Everything has changed, I donít understand how things could be so great one week and complete crap the next. We have been talking for a couple months and itís been up and down. 2 week ago to be honest I was going to walk away from it all. Put her feelings aside about how she doesnít want me to leave but expects me too. But things changed last week. She was so with me, she wanted to hang out more, all the time. She was calling and texting sweet things to me. Well she normally did that but now it was a little more graphic. When we hung out last week she told me she liked me and I told her the same but she didnít want things to change right now. Everything was going great, we even made out. Which she was really into, starting it back up after it ended the first time. After that night things continued greatly. She continued texting and snapping me some friendly some flirty, some sexy. Now this week everything has changed. She is a little distant. We went from talking 3 times a day over the phone to barely talking once a day. Rarely texting, the sweet I miss you text and Iím thinking about text donít come anymore. The sexy snaps or any snaps at all are gone. Everything has changed. We still talk everyday, but our conversations are only 5 to -10 mins. When last week they were 30 to 1 1/2 hour long. I can t really complain to much because she normally calls me, so itís not like sheís completely pulling away. My question is do I say something to her. She has recently been going through some stuff this week. So Iíve tried not to take it personally but in the back of my head Iím like donít be stupid. So question, do I say anything to her, or leave it alone and hope it changes back We have had a similar conversation where she said sheíd rather me be upfront and just say whatís going on. Part of me wants To ask. Like is everything good between us. Youíve been a little distant lately. Which I had the opportunity last night to say when we talked but I didnít. Like I mentioned a lot of stuff has happen this week in her life so, Iím trying not to make the distance about me. What should I do?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's only a week and she is 'going through stuff". Be a good listener but be confident and don't interrogate every nuance. Relax and observe.

  3. #3
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    definitely relax (aka step back and take a breathe) and just observe.
    it's okay to say "how you doing? is everything ok?" but not "hey is everythign okay with us?" (aka dont make it about you.. make it about her.. that you're concerned or worried and noticed that maybe she isn't okay and you want to be there)

    she could be just "goin through something" - or she could be one of those drama-filled unstable gals. that's why relaxing, not p ushin things, letting her be and letting her act on her own free will, and then OBSERVING what she does with that free wil - is your best move. It will tell you the MOST and give you MOST of the information you seek if you can just observe and not get in your own way and into your own head with your own "freaking out" assessment.

    time will tell. it always does. so relax and let it tell you. then do what you need to once it tells you.

  4. #4
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Make yourself less available, and you will see results.

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  6. #5
    Administrator kamurj's Avatar
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    Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.


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