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Thread: My boyfriend is a manchild?

  1. #21
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    Weíre not going to condone him mooching off of you if thatís the advice you want to hear. Itís up to you to decide ultimately if the stress of these issues is worth it.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    You lived with him in his country for 6 months. Did you not see any clues the first time you lived with him?

    If you were to spend the rest of your life living exactly how you do now, would that be ok?
    Are you hoping for change and what kind of change does that look like?

  3. #23
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I can only speak for myself. I'd have no qualms about giving the heave-ho to anyone who frustrates my vision of my own future and the kind of 'equal' partner I desire. I'd likely even pay for his plane fare to exit my life faster, and I'd consider that a cheap price to pay for tuition in teaching myself some important things--not just about what I don't want, but how important my future goals are to me and why I'll never be happy compromising them to settle for anyone who can't (or won't) keep up with me.

    Given that most people are NOT our match, I've never regretted making this decision to 'correct' a bad choice. I've only regretted the time I wasted in staying tied to a wrong match for too long. We never get any wasted time back to live over again.

    Head high.

  4. #24
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    If you have ambitions, then why did you chose this loser. You knew who he was. I don't get it!

    If you don't have a problem with supporting/nagging this parasite for the rest of your life, then everything should be okay.

  5.  

  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by nagon
    Harsh tone but ok.
    Well I am not paying anything for him, we pay everything 50/50. But yeah I feel like I am mommying him and pushing him to act like an adult but it doesn't really work. In the country where he is from, a lot of men are like that, and sometimes worse. His family are proud of him and idolise him because he is charismatic and funny. They don't think he is in an anormal situation for his age (no career, no savings, etc.) I am putting up with this because he has been of emotional support for me on a regular basis, because I've had a very lonely life and no one to trust. Also I have low self confidence and don't think a lot of "better" men would like me.
    Good grief. I would rather be alone that put put up with this nonsense.

  7. #26
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    Hello everyone, here is a little update from me
    First of all thanks to everyone for posting and opening my eyes
    I know I don't want to spend my life with this guy.
    Currently we are still together but I am starting to make future plans like moving abroad in a year, or moving into my own place, and he will not have the capacity to come with me. So yeah sooner or later it will break.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by nagon
    So yeah sooner or later it will break.
    basically, you are merely hoping he gets the hint. If you move to your own place, he will be on your doorstep the minute you go or you will have him over for sleepovers and he will be living with you in no time. If you go abroad, he will follow. Break up with him. Stop letting him sponge off you - pay zero of his bills or things that he enjoys. Cancel the cable and internet and just use your phone to look up things. Tell him whatever way you want, but if you cut him off and don't let him sponge, it will save your sanity.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I'll say it again:
    We never get any wasted time back to live over again.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    basically, you are merely hoping he gets the hint. If you move to your own place, he will be on your doorstep the minute you go or you will have him over for sleepovers and he will be living with you in no time. If you go abroad, he will follow. Break up with him. Stop letting him sponge off you - pay zero of his bills or things that he enjoys. Cancel the cable and internet and just use your phone to look up things. Tell him whatever way you want, but if you cut him off and don't let him sponge, it will save your sanity.
    Hi thanks for your message
    I want to clarify that I do not pay any of his bills. Right now he is making some money as a delivery guy so he pays his own things.
    I am planning going abroad for a working holiday visa in one year after having saved up, and he will not be able to follow me. Financially or legally he will not have the capacity to go abroad.
    I will still enjoy the opportunities that I have while I can so we are incompatible in the long term

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    I'll say it again:
    Hi not sure exactly what you mean, but I don't think I am currently wasting my time

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