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Thread: Has anyone ever...?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Nope that's goofy.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Hmmm. In full transparency I have done it when stalking my exs (yikes) and I felt super greasy afterwards. I imagine if I did it in a relationship I would feel even worse.

    I tend to give people enough rope to hang themselves... if they are being shady it will happen sooner or later .

  3. #13
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Like maew, in that my style is more to giving rope. And if they hang themselves, done deal.
    I take time to trust someone, and if it's seriously breached, I'm not the kind to spend a lot of time trying to put it back together .

    That you are at this point that you are considering a fake profile for your PARTNER, the relationship is hanging already limp as a corpse.

  4. #14
    Gold Member El0t's Avatar
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    So, to clarify a couple of things since we're now "into it" I suppose. This incident happened about 6 months ago. The reason I did not up and leave was because, though he lied, I do not believe that there was anything non-platonic happening. The kid is not his, but he helped her raise the kid for 4 years, and he himself had a dad who walked out on him. So, I guess he saw a parallel and felt bad about it. Since me finding out and us talking through things, to my knowledge (which I am quite confident in for this particular matter) they have not been in contact, and that part of his life is a closed door.

    Obviously, none of the above constitutes lying, but based on the other factors of our relationship, I felt it was worth moving forward and giving things a chance. Nothing is ever a for sure bet, but the fact that this occurred is something that won't just go away or that either of us will "get over" in any short amount of time. Dealing with the uncertainty in the aftermath is more of the issue and how to proceed in a way that's constructive for both parties. Overall, there's been a lot of progress since, but it's just frustrating having no real "assurance" other than the supposed absence of something, if that makes sense.

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  6. 02-20-2019, 10:41 PM

  7. #15
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    How long have you been together? How long ago was he in a committed relationship with his ex?

  8. #16
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    I can't see how.a fake profile leads anywhere but to the gutter and if that's where I want to go, I'd rather go without the drama.

    Seriously though - when I was cheated on, I knew it. We had issues of our own and That was the real issue. The side piece - meh. That was not the problem and proving infidelity through a dishonest trap would have just made it harder to reconcile. We split up anyway; I am glad I can look back and feel honorable about my behavior.

  9. #17
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    Why are you with someone that you do not trust?

  10. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Even thinking like this seems like the beginning of the end. Paranoia, catfishing, setting someone up? What's up with that?
    Originally Posted by El0t
    "What if I created a fake profile to talk to and 'test' my partner?"

  11. #19
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    If you're already thinking about this, it seems that the relationship is over.

    BTW, what do you expect to accomplish with a fake profile? He might be cheating or not with someone he knows, and might not be interested in cheating with internet women he doesn't know (aka your fake profile).

  12. #20
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by El0t
    I felt it was worth moving forward and giving things a chance.
    A chance is an investment, not a setup. It's up to you to decide whether you can live with partner's desire to stay involved with the child and trust him to conduct himself in ways that are not disloyal to you. The only platform for that is honesty. So be honest with yourself, first. Decide whether this man's attachment to this child is acceptable to you. If so, then remove any barriers to him seeing the child--and then he won't feel a need to lie to you about it.

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