Dating a millionaire

So I started dating someone new. I met him at his seminar he was hosting and from there he found me on social media and has been trying to take me out since. He’s a man of status and people know him as this successful millionaire so I’m sure he’s used to getting the girl, but for me to know that I knew he would’ve probably played me so I kept ignoring him. Well, he persisted for a long time and still kept trying to take me out and I finally came even after canceling on our first date and we hit it off the first night and been seeing each other almost everyday and weekend. We get along perfectly, we have the same business mentality, we’re always laughing and I’m always giving him advice. he’s opened up to me about his childhood on how he’s adopted and well the struggles of being adopted growing up. on valentines I remembered the small things about him and got him a very thoughtful gift. & he loved it. He told me nobody cares about him & he has never in his life received a thoughtful gift like this and told me he felt appreciated and appreciated me so much more. Because everyone is always using him it was hard to think people were still genuine. (As he says) and growing up he never received gifts because for him being adopted he was treated as a guest, not family. Then after he took me on a date and after we just sat outside the movie theatre bench and talked a lot more and he told me situations where he wanted to seek revenge on someone who betrayed him & I made him see things from another perspective to where he understood a place he’s at shouldn’t stoop low to his enemies. But to charge it to the game and move on gracefully. Some of these enemies were even men who wanted to take me out but with the same mentality I never gave it a chance but for this guy. He knew that and he felt even more proud to have me. One of the things he told me after was.. you know you’re perfect for me. You’re a woman and you don’t even have to say anything for anyone to see that. I make him see things clearly instead of one sided and see the good in things and that’s what he liked. If he was busy with something I always told him I understood and to take care what he needed. Basically made it to believe I was this perfect partner for him. He‘s told me He knew I would be a great mom when we were having dinner. Anyway, He’s leaving to his hometown today and wanted to fly me out to meet his family and support him for a tournament training he had coming up next month. He kept telling me he really wanted me to be there and I agreed. Well.

Then this Sunday comes and I was out with my friends and got really drunk. the whole day I said I was going to see him after.. I kept saying I was on the way and 3am comes he’s been waiting on me and I never came because well I ended up sobering up and taking care of my friends and didn’t feel like meeting up anymore. He got pissed and told me he was never going to respond to me again for wasting his time... blocked me on all social media but my number. I let it cool off & I texted him today saying I was sorry and I missed him and if we could move pass this and let me make up for it and that I wanted to still support him for his tournament. No reply and kinda don’t know what to do. But I know I messed up and want him back. Do I just leave it alone and assume he’ll come around eventually.

Do I just leave it alone and assume he’ll come around eventually.

You prioritized getting drunk over keeping your promise to see him. And you barely know him so that of course leaves him wondering if he should continue especially since he’s leaving town soon. If you gave a genuine apology and did not blame it on the alcohol - because you chose to get drunk and chose the consequences- then it’s up to him to choose whether to give you another chance. My sense is he was moving too fast and you chose to sabotage it.

The thing is he didn’t know I was drunk I just told him I wasn’t coming anymore and that’s when he got mad.

What does him being a millionaire have to do with it?

The thing is he didn’t know I was drunk I just told him I wasn’t coming anymore and that’s when he got mad.

That doesn't make it better.

I seriously doubt the fact that you didn't know any better would help either.

You reached out and apologized. That's about all you can do.

The ball is now in his court.

But by the way you describe him, I doubt he tolerates much nonsense.

What does him being a millionaire have to do with it?

I thought that too and I thought she shared that to give context to his telling her that so many people try to take advantage of him but that she is different.

What kind of seminar did you meet him at?

I thought that too and I thought she shared that to give context to his telling her that so many people try to take advantage of him but that she is different.

 

What kind of seminar did you meet him at?

Yup. Pretty much!

& it was a stocks seminar

Is this something to even get extremely mad about to cut me off forever? I guess I’m on here because I kinda want to double text him. And kinda want someone to tell me don’t do it cause you’ll look extra desperate. crazy how the tables turned.

Based on your post, you sound immature/flighty and he sounds jaded/too negative. Not a good combination. Imo, you would be better off not pursuing this further. If he thinks that "everyone is using him" , then he has a very negative outlook regarding life and people, and that is energy draining/toxic. You would end up listening to him complaining about everybody and at some point, you would probably join that black list. In fact, it sounds like you have. Complaining about everybody and everything from the get go sounds obnoxious and is in fact a red flag.

If he was professional he would not have pursued you as a seminar attender. Its like the teacher/student thing.If he got to know you over time on a professional level, that's one thing, but not from one seminar. I think you were being his counselor a bit too much and he saw you as a conquest. He really was unloading on you fairly early --- walk away

He opened up to you, told you he didn't feel anyone cared properly for him his whole life. He trusted you and then you let him down.

To him, it was most likely a huge let down and he felt like it was just another person disappointing him and not someone he could count on.

I'm thinking he won't get over it and you've lost your chance.

Is this something to even get extremely mad about to cut me off forever? I guess I’m on here because I kinda want to double text him. And kinda want someone to tell me don’t do it cause you’ll look extra desperate. crazy how the tables turned.

It can be depending on context and timing. I might give that person another chance but not based on what you wrote to him - that you just were blowing him off -by text no less. I'd probably be done even if not extremely mad -I'd simply know that you were showing yourself very early on to be unreliable and after I'd told you my expectations.

Separately I agree that he sounds a bit like a drama "king" but not because of his reaction to your blowing him off.

I'd have felt very freaked by someone who was sitting there plotting revenge on 'enemies'. This is not someone who's going to forgive or let go of wrongs very easily - and in his world you have betrayed him already.

However, I'd have been absolutely livid if someone I was newly dating kept telling me they were on their way, I'd waited up for them and then they casually dropped me in the way that you did to him. It's incredibly disrespectful to both him and your budding relationship. He'd already given you the benefit of the doubt after you cancelled on your first date, and he was probably thinking you'd keep letting him down. It certainly sounds as though you were unconsciously sabotaging your relationship.

As to what to do... you've already done what you can, and maybe he'll come round eventually. Just don't hold your breath!

I'd have been absolutely livid if someone I was newly dating kept telling me they were on their way

Yes, if you didn't want to go see him, why not tell him as soon as you thought you might not make it? Why keep stringing him along and waiting and waiting? That's probably what angered him the most and with good reason.

I think anyone would be angry over that.

I'd look for another millionaire.

In the early stages of dating, people are typically on their best behaviour.

He's figuring that this is the best you have to offer and being stood up is a dealbreaker.

Sorry, but I'd consider it a dealbreaker as well.

So you repeatedly told him you would see him after spending time with your friends, he waited all night into early morn, then at 3:00 a.m., after sobering up, you "didn't feel like it" anymore??

I hope you used a different choice of words when you told him. Because franky that just sounds cold. You totally blew him off!

I'm sorry, but you sound a bit self-entitled and he sounds like he very has high standards (which we all should have).

There's not much more you can do except give it time, either he will have it in his heart to give this (you) another shot or he won't.

If he doesn't, then lesson learned, hopefully.

I'd look for another millionaire.

I almost choked on my water...

I realize jman is being tongue and cheek but theres some validity here. The post is literally titled "Dating a millionaire" when that detail is being portrayed as minimally important so it begs the question why keep making such a big deal about it? Why isnt the post titled " I made a mistake and now he doesnt trust me" or " Is he over reacting to my mistake " or " Am I compromising myself because Im so impressed by him?"

I dont buy that title was to establish he has trust issues, you could have simply said he is "well off".

Methinks youve been blinded by the lights. Methinks hes potentially gaslighting you and methinks youre willing to overlook it because youre impressed by him or honestly its also possible he really liked you and for whatever reason you chose to blow him off and his cut off game is fierce...

This has nothing to do with his net worth, this has to do with getting drunk and blowing him off. Sober up.

Then this Sunday comes and I was out with my friends and got really drunk. the whole day I said I was going to see him after.. I kept saying I was on the way and 3am comes he’s been waiting on me and I never came because well I ended up sobering up and taking care of my friends and didn’t feel like meeting up anymore. He got pissed.

I was actually wondering at first if this is a troll post because it sounds a lot like the plot of "50 Shades of Grey". A hot millionaire who was adopted keeps pursuing a student that came to interview him lol Did he have a sex dungeon? All jokes aside though, if this is real, then I would say the guy sounds very harsh and entitled. I think what you did was wrong in terms of not going to see him but you were drunk and you messed up once. Have you apologised to him and said how bad you feel? If he never wants to see you ever again after this then I think he's kind of over reacting...

I think what you did was wrong in terms of not going to see him but you were drunk and you messed up once.

That aside, though, I agree he sounds like an A-hole.

I was actually wondering at first if this is a troll post because it sounds a lot like the plot of "50 Shades of Grey". A hot millionaire who was adopted keeps pursuing a student that came to interview him lol Did he have a sex dungeon? All jokes aside though, if this is real, then I would say the guy sounds very harsh and entitled. I think what you did was wrong in terms of not going to see him but you were drunk and you messed up once. Have you apologised to him and said how bad you feel? If he never wants to see you ever again after this then I think he's kind of over reacting...

Omg you’re right.

Didn’t she get drunk and call him in the book too?

Omg you’re right.

 

Didn’t she get drunk and call him in the book too?

Yes I'm pretty sure that also happened in the book and movie and she didn't pick up his calls or something because she was drunk!

Yes I'm pretty sure that also happened in the book and movie and she didn't pick up his calls or something because she was drunk!

Spoiler alert!!!! I haven't seen it yet.....