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Thread: Any way to salvage this?

  1. #21
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    Isnít that what bad timing is - wanting different things at the same time even though you will eventually want the same thing

  2. #22
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    You wrote in your OP that he said he'd just gotten out of a relationship and wasn't looking for anything serious. Now you're changing the story.

    No, waiting around hoping a man who clearly stated he is exclusively sleeping with another woman will change his mind is not "bad timing".

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by kathy82
    Isnít that what bad timing is - wanting different things at the same time even though you will eventually want the same thing
    You don't want the same thing with each other, though.

    Sure, he might eventually want a committed relationship. But I think he already knows it won't be with you.

  4. #24
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    I wrote that he doesnít want something serious right now with anyone bc just out of relationship. However he told me he would like to stay in touch if I am up for it bc he may be ready for something serious in a few months. He said the girl he is seeing knows it is casual and that he is going on other dates.

    Sorry if my initial post wasnít clear :)

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    If ever there was a classic string along line, this is it:
    Originally Posted by kathy82
    he told me he would like to stay in touch if I am up for it bc he may be ready for something serious in a few months.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by kathy82
    I wrote that he doesnít want something serious right now with anyone bc just out of relationship. However he told me he would like to stay in touch if I am up for it bc he may be ready for something serious in a few months. He said the girl he is seeing knows it is casual and that he is going on other dates.

    Sorry if my initial post wasnít clear :)
    Eh, I would keep exploring other options, OP. Don't hold out for this guy.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by kathy82
    I wrote that he doesnít want something serious right now with anyone bc just out of relationship. However he told me he would like to stay in touch if I am up for it bc he may be ready for something serious in a few months. He said the girl he is seeing knows it is casual and that he is going on other dates.

    Sorry if my initial post wasnít clear :)
    Or, he may not be.

    You really want to be one of many, knowing he is "exclusively" sleeping with a woman who is not you, hoping that when he IS "ready" he will pick you and not the woman he is "exclusively" sleeping with or one of the other women he is casually dating?

  9. #28
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kathy82
    I wrote that he doesnít want something serious right now with anyone bc just out of relationship. However he told me he would like to stay in touch if I am up for it bc he may be ready for something serious in a few months. He said the girl he is seeing knows it is casual and that he is going on other dates.

    Sorry if my initial post wasnít clear :)
    At its core Kathy he is telling you, he doesnít see you as someone worthy of giving up his single status.

    Iíve sugar coated lines in my life, but looking at the core message and accepting it really helps to keep it moving.

    At the most tell him if youíre ready for a relationship contact me but Iím not waiting for you.

    That sets a strong boundary.

    Sticking around hoping he will one day deem you worthy is handing him your dignity in payment for his love.

    I would not wait around. If he does in a few months decide heís ready it will not be because you hung around keeping yourself present. Itíll be because he was telling the truth and worked through whatever he needed to. Keyword telling the truth.

  10. #29
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    Thx for the tough love. Guess I was hoping youíd all say that he does really like me and sees me as a serious prospect when he is ready and just doesnít want to screw things up by dating me when he isnít looking for something serious. But he had no problem going on dates with me before I said that Iím looking for something serious so clearly that isnít what is happening here.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kathy82
    Thx for the tough love. Guess I was hoping youíd all say that he does really like me and sees me as a serious prospect when he is ready and just doesnít want to screw things up by dating me when he isnít looking for something serious. But he had no problem going on dates with me before I said that Iím looking for something serious so clearly that isnít what is happening here.
    If he saw any future potential in the two of you, he would have never said it to begin with. He wouldn't risk losing you over it.
    And when you two originally parted, he didn't blink once.
    You went into damage control by reaching out, therefore he was led to believe you agreed to his terms.

    Ultimately he knew that it would be more work than he was willing to put forth.
    Don't second guess yourself.

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