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Thread: My boyfriend went for a drink with a different girl

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    He wants his freedom and you want to talk about marriage and kids. You're not compatible, you both know it on some level and you both know he is fading out and transitioning to someone else who is more consistent with the freedom of being college aged. He is not feeling low, he is fading out. He doesn't want to hurt you but he doesn't want to stay with you.
    Originally Posted by hamilton20
    he has suddenly changed, been very low and concerned about our future as I will potentially want marriage and kids and he isnít fussed.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by hamilton20
    Hey, thanks. I know I shouldnít snoop but something didnít feel right and I felt like I was correct. Heís concerned about future etc because I mentioned I want kids and marriage and heís not that into it, but Itís not my priority for the future!
    What do you mean by this, exactly?

    You may not want kids and marriage now, but it sounds like you do eventually see yourself married with a family. He doesn't see himself that way. That is a very significant incompatibility and will make a future together extremely difficult.

    How do you feel you two would reconcile that enormous difference in life goals?

  3. #23

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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    What do you mean by this, exactly?

    You may not want kids and marriage now, but it sounds like you do eventually see yourself married with a family. He doesn't see himself that way. That is a very significant incompatibility and will make a future together extremely difficult.

    How do you feel you two would reconcile that enormous difference in life goals?
    I mean I want my dream job and house before anything else & with regards to my dream job, I would struggle to find time to have children realistically so I havenít fully dreamed about a family. With regards to marriage, it would be nice but I know couples who arenít married and have been together their whole lives insanely happy. Iím only 20 and I donít think I should be making these kind of decisions yet.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by hamilton20
    I mean I want my dream job and house before anything else & with regards to my dream job, I would struggle to find time to have children realistically so I havenít fully dreamed about a family. With regards to marriage, it would be nice but I know couples who arenít married and have been together their whole lives insanely happy. Iím only 20 and I donít think I should be making these kind of decisions yet.
    I agree, so, how did you boyfriend get the impression that marriage and children are goals for you someday?

    In any event, it appears that he is backing out of the relationship. It might be because he feels you two are not compatible long-term, or it might be that he has indeed developed an interest in someone else. You two do need to sit down and talk about what's happening, even if you don't hear what you'd hoped.

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  6. #25
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    in the end it still stands...
    You - eventually want marriage and kids
    He - does not.

    What are you going to do about that?

    "eventually i'll make him change his mind" or "eventualy i'm sure he'll change his mind" - is NOT an answer here.

  7. #26
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    There are probably a lot of assumptions being made on this thread. I say talk it out and see what happens. There's a lot of power in asking someone to clarify what's going on. Get his side of the story.

  8. #27

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    I definitely agree, I am seeing him tomorrow (Friday) and Iím going to speak to him then and hope he comes clean about whatís really going on.

  9. #28

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    If Iím honest, I think heís started to like someone else but still says he loves me so is confused. I donít want to discuss with him over text, for obvious reason, I am seeing him Friday evening so I will discuss in person then. I donít need to be messed around - I hope I learn the truth.

  10. 03-06-2019, 04:05 AM
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    Spam

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