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Thread: I havenít met his kids!

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    I don't want to make an ignorant statement as I don't know much about the Nigerian culture, but I thought that it's acceptable to have several wives in some parts of the country. Is this right?

    He also cheated on her with a woman (probably another woman) during the engagement and marriage and this other woman didn't know about her. When she knew about her, he told this woman he only married her for the green visa. I don't think this is a matter of Nigerian culture but more a matter of scamming and playing.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    OP, It may help you to put down on a piece of paper all of the facts, facts only. Your husband IS hiding himself in some manner. We can only speculate.

    Also, as you say, you may end your marriage over this issue. It may help to define the issue differently: his lack of transparency, the inability to create a blended family, the idea that a part of him is unavailable to you.

    He may be afraid of confrontation with the mother of these children; who knows. Keeping you separate is part of what caused him to lose custody; presumably, it was important to him to maintain that boundary. I don't know why. Neither do you.

    Presuming confidentiality and finances are a concern, I would consult with a legal aid service as may be available; maybe they can help confirm some facts for you.

    There are holes in this story; the facts don't appear to hang together. He is on the run; the kids aren't who you think they are; the marriage stories are obscured.

    You need to detach emotionally and gather facts, like a detective.

  3. #23
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Hmmmm.........maybe he does not want you around the ex because it could create drama? Or maybe he is just cheating behind your back?

    Sometimes there are no clear answers when it comes to divorce.

  4. #24
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    In the other thread we discovered he was cheating and that he told the other woman that he married her for a green card. :/

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  6. #25
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    Yes this is true, I found out he cheated on me after the wedding... I live in Canada there is no Green Card, the women he cheated on me with was only 23 And thought he was not a citizen yet.. he lied too her, which makes me feel like he wanted to keep the relationship going instead of coming clean!!! He tells me that he lied to her to keep her away and that he owed her money.. he has confessed to everything and says itís my fault he cheated!!! The more and more I think about everything I feel so stupid and lost. I want to know why I have not met his kids at this point, yet his ex has been around out too children at there sons football practice. Iím disgusted with everything ashamed and heart broken

  7. #26
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I would ditch him. He isnít worth your time . Just remember to apply for custody and childcare payment .

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Momof3boys
    Yes this is true, I found out he cheated on me after the wedding... I live in Canada there is no Green Card, the women he cheated on me with was only 23 And thought he was not a citizen yet.. he lied too her, which makes me feel like he wanted to keep the relationship going instead of coming clean!!! He tells me that he lied to her to keep her away and that he owed her money.. he has confessed to everything and says itís my fault he cheated!!! The more and more I think about everything I feel so stupid and lost. I want to know why I have not met his kids at this point, yet his ex has been around out too children at there sons football practice. Iím disgusted with everything ashamed and heart broken

    At this point and what you've written about him, that should be the least of your concerns. He cheats on you during engagement and right after the wedding with a woman, blames it on you (if someone doesn't take responsibility it means they don't want to stop cheating), he owes women money (scammer?), he hides his children from previous marriage to you, he lies to your face, he tells the woman he cheated on you with that he only married you for a green card or whatever... what are you waiting to talk to an attourney, check very closely all your bank accounts and his movements on them, and do an std scan? At this point there's not much to salvage or to understand here. He doesn't respect you and doesn't care. I'm very sorry for this devastating outcome. You've known who he is since you found out about the cheating right after the wedding. This is who he is.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I would ditch him. He isnít worth your time . Just remember to apply for custody and childcare payment .
    This. If he's really owing his mistress money and using you for convenience, he might do everything to avoid paying for child support.

  10. #29
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Exactly! And here in Canada he can pay support . 😃 although watch him try to dodge that . Somebodyís got a put a stop to the baby making machine and going around making babies they donít want to pay for .

  11. #30
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Somebodyís got a put a stop to the baby making machine and going around making babies they donít want to pay for .
    I'd say the woman allowing his semen to reach her egg not once but twice...back to back...when he cheats and wont even let her meet his children has a ton of responsibility too.

    I mean there were so many red flags ignored, I wont lie I thought the poster was pulling our leg for a bit. Theres some serious issues going on here.

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