Both sides cheated

My husband and I have been married for 12 years: we have 3 kids. He cheated at the beginning of the relationship but I forgave him. Now two years ago he left to a job for a couple months, I began to have fun and ended being unfaithful to him... he left again... he cheated. There’s a possibility this girl is pregnant, but at this point in our lives I feel like i don’t want to lose him. I made a mistake and thought maybe this is what I deserve for doing what I did... I changed so much and I don’t want to be unfaithful again. but it’s hard for me to see myself dealing with the fact he will have a child with another girl. I don’t know if to stay with him if she is pregnant because I feel I won’t be able to support him or be here for him as he deals with her pregnancy and being there when the baby is born or simply her keep calling him... I love him, but I’m not strong enough. He says he doesn’t want me to leave him, and that he would keep trying with our marriage... but I don’t want to waste his time. Has anyone dealt with their partner having a child out of an affair? Would u stay or walk away?

Neither of you should be married at all let alone to one another. File for divorce, work out a custody arrangement and learn to be a better person before you enter into another relationship.

There’s a possibility this girl is pregnant, .....Would u stay or walk away?

There is no way in hell I would stay with him. I would pack his bags and help him out the door. He made his bed, he can lie in it now and take care of his new "family" .... as well as pay child support for his other three children.

You two need to divorce and sort out custody and then hopefully learn from this mess. Counselling, together and individually may help you two to come to a suitable arrangement where the kids are concerned.

End this horrible marriage and learn about the inherent respect, fidelity, and affection needed in a successful marriage or even in a relationship.

I suggest you get the divorce rolling.

OP, People will tell you what you'd expect. It matters only how deep your commitment is to each other. I do know a marriage that renewed their vows after he fathered a child with his mistress.

I have friends who stayed together after they each cheated.

The common thread among all 4 people is they turned toward each other for help to make the relationship they want. And they focused on each other, not on the affair.

I regard cheating as a symptom. It likely means you each need help with boundaries, and you both need help with relationship skills. Relationships don't happen by accident, and they are about much more than exclusivity. No matter what you choose, focus on learning new skills.

You have an open marriage so you have to decide how you'll manage his other life/gf/family.

-There’s a possibility this girl is pregnant, but at this point in our lives I feel like i don’t want to lose him.

-it’s hard for me to see myself dealing with the fact he will have a child with another girl.

He says he doesn’t want me to leave him,

Oh wow, sounds like you two are in a vicious cheating cycle. Each trying to "one-up" the other. Consider going to couple's counseling - for the kids' sake.

dosn't matter if anybody else can or can't do it. the question is can YOU do it?

If no, time to go.

If yes, then you'll just have to possibly accept it as part of your lives going forward.

Plenty of blame to go around here and now you both get to deal with your mis-behaviors.

Neither of you should be married at all let alone to one another. File for divorce, work out a custody arrangement and learn to be a better person before you enter into another relationship.

AMEN!

what the hell is wrong with you OP?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

you cheat

he cheats

you cheat

he gets women pregnant

what are you going to do? play step mother to his new kid? this should be a TV show honestly.

learn how to be a better person