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Not Sure How to Interpret This...


Gabbalabba

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I went out for drinks recently with a couple coworkers and encountered a weird situation with one of them. It was pretty late and we had all had a lot to drink at this point. I was sitting next to a guy I work with and was talking to him. I didn’t realize it but our legs were touching. Then I felt his hand on my knee and he was lightly rubbing my leg. I pulled my leg away and acted like nothing had happened and he didn’t touch me again. After I got home he messaged me and said he’s sorry if he made me uncomfortable.

 

I think really highly of this guy and am attracted to him, but he has had a partner for about 3 years now so there’s no way I’d pursue anything with him.

 

Is there any other way to interpret him putting his hand on my knee? I want to believe he is the kind of guy who wouldn’t make a move towards someone else while he’s in a relationship. I keep thinking about this moment and I feel so disappointed in him...what do you think he intended by it?

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He was feeling the vibe and acting on it, yes he was hitting on you.

 

If it were me, I would refrain from judging him harshly - friends are imperfect, all of us. I would also keep a little more room between you. A little more space the better to appreciate the friend.

 

I was in this situation with a friend a decade ago. He has since ended his LTR, entered two forms of therapy, and become more careful with his familiar manner. Our friendship sustained beyond the hand on knee moment.

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Like it or not, he is exactly the kind of guy who will hit on other women while in a relationship. What he intended? To find out if you are willing to go along and be "that kind of a girl", aka sidepiece. You know the shtick, his gf is evil and their relationship is dead anyway and you are his true love....but mysteriously he just won't leave his gf because....well...you know...the gf is crazy or will go crazy if he leaves her or insert whatever bs you want here. Yup, sorry, but he is "that" guy. The very fact that he apologized actually shows that he was very much aware of what he was trying and doing it intentionally. No drunk excuses here.

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I want to believe he is the kind of guy who wouldn’t make a move towards someone else while he’s in a relationship.

Well, he clearly proved you wrong. He showed you that he is exactly that kinda guy who will cheat on his girlfriend. Just don't be that kinda girl who gets involved with him.

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You can believe whatever you want to believe about him--you're not his social worker, you're his colleague. So be kind and professional at work, and just don't party with him again.

 

Consider drinking as something you'll limit to friends from outside of work. You'll thank yourself later.

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