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Thread: Wife At Breaking Point - Walking on egg shells and Confused

  1. #1
    Member MrAdversity's Avatar
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    Wife At Breaking Point - Walking on egg shells and Confused

    Long story short - I am having a very hard time managing in a house with a child with ADD/Impulsivity, a mother in law with issues and a ray of other things snowballing on me right now - granted I can be better with it all and to be fair its not all me (the system in which this child gets help - daily meds, Drs, physchologists etc all only help to maintain a half way normal child from 8-4 when meds are working ...and the wife has the patience of a 4 yr old ...

    The wife has expressed serious concern 4x over about kids coming first and not making everyone feel uncomfortable etc in the house and has even said she would separate if things didn't get better -

    This weekend was last straw, however she didn't leave, basically stating ill see how the week goes and yet even though we spoke it out she continues to be somewhat normal and lovey with me - stating this morning anyone can change in 2 days - but has expressed the want to make plans this weekend to be alone together etc etc ..

    She doesn't want to leave as stubborn as she is, and frankly Idk how she would considering we have a mortgage together etc and a daughter (her ADD child is my step kid) - and when we got together we have a long history from 16yrs old didn't convey the issues as bad as it is now ..

    I guess the stress of the daily struggles have gotten to me and redirecting a child who has break downs and a mother in law who has her own drama has been rough . but I hate walking on egg shells (she was with her ex for 15yrs and literally locked herself away from him and than showed up one day with a uhaul and left for a better life) -

  2. #2
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    there is no shame in saying you aren't strong enough to be the one to solve her problem for herself.
    ask yourself what you want (not what she wants) and do what will make you happiest and most fulfilled in life.

    there is no shame in wnating a fulfilling life for yourself. So figure out which direction will do that for you and dedicate yourself to that path.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by thisisrichey

    there is no shame in wnating a fulfilling life for yourself. So figure out which direction will do that for you and dedicate yourself to that path.

    Special needs children can be very exhausting -- what about getting some help like a mother's helper if she is home all day with the child so she can have an hour to herself everyday so that she may feel like she got something done and she has energy left over for you. If not, what about getting a babysitter so that you can go out on dates -- even if its just a walk around the block without the kid in peace together? If you can do that -- you can be stronger as a couple. does the child have an individual education plan in school? (iep)

    You knew she had a special needs child. That's what you signed up for, so don't run away at the first sign of discomfort.


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