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Is he wanting to be serious/should I worry?


NYCBrooklyn

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So, me and a guy have been dating for 2 months now. I moved abroad for a few months in January, but we have continued to speak/FaceTime when we can. I came home for a few weeks and we saw each other, and had a great time, we made plans for the summer and for when I’m back ect. We both have said we aren’t seeing anyone else just each other.

 

He’s off on a ‘lads’ short break and he mentioned his mate wanting to sleep with a prostitute, I’m now worried he might as well despite him saying he won’t. Does he really want to be serious, I’m so confused! Thoughts?

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You can't control what he gets up to when he's out and about. It was probably not a good idea to bring up the particular topic of a prostitute, because you can see where this has put you and your thoughts...sometimes there are things we don't need to share. My thought is if you're that concerned, you make sure that he has an STD check prior to sleeping with him again. If you have that little trust for him, the question is if you really should stick around or not. I question his caliber if he needs to bring up the topic of unsavory antics in the first place, but also why he hangs around with people who participate in such things if it goes against his own values. It could all be "talk," and that circles back around to why bring that up to YOU? He doesn't plan to participate, so is this really something necessary to share? Are "little white lies" okay or do we require full disclosure at all times? This is a very difficult area because I don't know the right answer.

 

If I was going out with friends and the goal of the other friends (one or all) was to get trashed and hook up, would that be something worth sharing since it's not my goal, or the goal of all the girls? If it was the goal of all the girls, I may as well stay home, cuz I'll ultimately end up by myself while they prowl. Why instill that anxiety when it's not my goal, nor is it my behavior. If their relationship goals are on a completely different plane than mine, we can plan time together that focus on friends and not on guys...maybe we ultimately part ways...it happens.

 

You barely got to know each other before you moved away, so you're dealing with a LDR on a very young relationship.

 

At this point, you have nothing to lose. Ask him what he wants. If this scares him and has him running away, so be it. Yes, it will hurt, but at least you know.

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