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Thread: Sex so soon???

  1. #1
    Bronze Member Viceroy's Avatar
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    Sex so soon???

    I am a guy, 24 and I am dating a girl who is 18. I've been pretty reserved about issues relating to sex, we've been on two dates and she's so open about sexual preferences, things she wants to do etc.... I am actually kinda scared that maybe she has aids and I could get burned by her? I am a being unreasonable, do people these days have sex so soon? If someone really likes you that much do they want to get to that straight away?

    I haven't dated anyone in 3 years, I have only been in one relationship. I guess I am just shocked and somewhat scared about the whole thing. I do like her, she's a nice girl who works full time and goes to school. Thoughts???

  2. #2
    Platinum Member tiredofvampires's Avatar
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    You don't state how long you've been dating, so what do you mean by "so soon"?

    As for getting AIDS, that's quite a longshot, given it's hard to catch it in the first place, and she'd have to have done quite a bit of very risky types of sexual acts or used IV drugs in a very short period of time given her youthful age. AIDS, by the way, is the least likely disease/infection you'd catch (and the correct term is HIV, the virus, not AIDS.)

    But, I tell everyone to have their partners fully tested for all STI's, and to get tested yourself, so you both have a clean bill of health at least (or know what her status is).

  3. #3
    Bronze Member Viceroy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by tiredofvampires
    You don't state how long you've been dating, so what do you mean by "so soon"?

    As for getting AIDS, that's quite a longshot, given it's hard to catch it in the first place, and she'd have to have done quite a bit of very risky types of sexual acts or used IV drugs in a very short period of time given her youthful age. AIDS, by the way, is the least likely disease/infection you'd catch (and the correct term is HIV, the virus, not AIDS.)

    But, I tell everyone to have their partners fully tested for all STI's, and to get tested yourself, so you both have a clean bill of health at least (or know what her status is).

    Sorry, I just used Aids as a blanket statement for my lack of knowledge. I have only been on two dates and she's already wanting to do sexual stuff, which I am scared about because I feel that can't be normal. My last GF it took over a month to even kiss, I am just in shock.

    From my talking to her , she seems like a smart individual, she works full time and goes to school to study nursing.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    STD's are a real worry, yes. You need to be careful and to make sure you know this person before you share bodily fluids.

    Do people sleep together right away? Some do, but they are looking for flings or one nighters and you need to ask yourself how many others before you they jumped into bed with that fast.

    If you want something serious and an actual romance, you need to take your time, get to know this person. Make sure they are worth it and are who they say they are.
    That could take many dates.
    Even then, always always use a condom no matter what.

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  6. #5
    Bronze Member Viceroy's Avatar
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    That's what I was thinking too. Someone who wants to jump in bed that fast has to have an agenda. I'll tell her I am sorry but I would like to get to know you a little bit more before we do anything like that. I know I am clean and I don't want to insult her but I do want to take precautions. This is serrious stuff, STD's can severely impact one's life.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    STD's are serious and I am just putting it out there but I don't find it attractive when someone wants to get into bed that quickly.

    I like getting to know someone, I like romance. Holding hands and flirting last such a short while, I like that phase of things.
    If someone wants sex asap without barely dating..I find it a complete turn off and it does make me wonder who else they moved this fast with.

    It also makes me think that someone who moves that fast has a better chance at getting an STD. Mainly because they're okay with sharing bodily fluids with virtual strangers.

    But that's my opinion.

  8. #7
    Bronze Member Viceroy's Avatar
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    Thanks for your insight SherrySher, and I can definitely agree. I think there could be a hormonal element in here, as she is 18 but still I won't through caution to the wind, you're absolutely right.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Normal is a setting on the dryer, not a way to define someone's sexual preferences. Your preferences are no more or less "normal" than hers. What I do think is that it's important to be on the same page and date someone with similar preferences because it makes things easier in the long run.

    It's fantastic that you want to be respectful and that you have clear boundaries... observe what she does when you set them with her and that will tell you a lot about whether or not you will be compatible.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Normal is a setting on the dryer, not a way to define someone's sexual preferences.
    🎺 I am off to go post this in the Hall of Fame. Well done.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    It really is about compatibility.

    I'm not saying it's normal or not normal to want sex so fast, but my preference is that I wouldn't find that attractive in someone and it would ruin things for me.

    It's not how I would want my romance story to go, but everyone is different.

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