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Thread: I think wife is or has cheated - need advice

  1. #21
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    As usual, I agree with Wiseman. You gotta put in the effort to maintain attraction and "keep dating your woman" even after you're married.

    However, I would lawyer up and get your financial arranged/secured as soon and as quietly as possible. If she turns angry or violent, make sure your cell phone is handy to record it. (or vice versa for women that are dealing with the opposite situation)

    A buddy of mine had a similar situation a while ago and his wife got very nasty during the divorce. Luckily, he recorded her throwing things at him and berating him in front of their kids. It made a significant impact when it came time to deal with child custody.

    She may not be this way now, but if things go south, its always good to be prepared....

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    I'm sorry but it's time to wake up from denial and complacency and suspecting things and run to a divorce lawyer for a consultation today and cover your rear. Do this before you come home to an empty house and empty bank accounts. Your wife has been checked out for way too long and not communicating with you and you have no idea what she is planning at this point. This is way beyond not being intimate and you pondering why. Time to take action and if you want to know if she is or isn't cheating, then hire a PI and find out, if that's what you need to do for yourself. Just be sure that you really want to know.

    Whoever said that you need to speak to a lawyer quickly and quietly and cover yourself was absolutely on point. Once you know where you stand and how to protect common funds from her just grabbing them, then you can sit down and talk about your marriage and whether she is willing to work on things which is doubtful, more likely how you can part ways as amicably as possible.
    At this point I'd also go secretly to a divorce attorney. There's contempt here on her part, this is more than a couple who has "lost the flame". There's hatred, contempt and resentment here. There's lack of respect and no care at all. I'd even say there's cruelty here. Even if she's upset about something, this is not how one handles things. This doesn't seem salvaged with therapy, besides she doesn't want couples therapy.

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