Does he like me?

So I need a bit of advice. I've been dating this guy for the past few weeks, we've been out three times so far as he works away and is only up a few weekends a month, but I'm unsure if he likes me.

When we've went out, he's insisted on paying for everything, holds my hand and opens and closes the car door for me when I'm leaving.

However, he's not yet complimented/ said anything nice to me, for example, not even anything like "you looked night tonight." And not said anything to imply he likes me. He also takes a good 14 hours to reply to one message but is contantly on social media.

Yesterday in a discussion about going to the hair dressers i said I would never have my hair any other colour than brown and he replied saying he likes brunettes. Is this him hinting that he likes me?

What do you all think, do you think he likes me or am I wasting my time?

I also used to work with this guy 5 years.

How do you know him from work? The best indicator is how often you date and how enthusiastically dates are set up. After 3 dates it's hard to say where it's going. Compliments and texting are not indicative of anything other than flattery and excessive phone attachment. Anyone can do that. Real actions and efforts are what you should notice.

we've been out three times so far as he works away and is only up a few weekends a month

 

I also used to work with this guy 5 years.

We worked in a shop together and spoke a lot as we got on really well. At the time he said I was one of the only people he liked in the store. He had a gf at the time and I got a new job so we never spoke again until he randomly messaged me at Christmas time asking how I've been.

When I left the store he told me "not to vanish off the face of the earth" and that he would miss me!

Well we've seen each other every time he's been back up and have arranged to meet again next week. Not sure about the enthusiasm, we'll just arrange and then that's it. He is really nice when we go out though. He was ill the last time we went out and he still came out because he said he wouldn't get to see me for 2 weeks if he never and made an effort to dress smartly.

I know what you're saying about real actions, it's confusing when all my friends get cute messages etc from the guys they are dating. So it was just making me wonder if he even likes me.

"you looked night tonight."

- I always make it a point to tell women they look night!

Seriously, unless he's crazy or married, if he's dating you regularly, he likes you. Men are simple creatures.

You might be overthinking it.

He sounds like he treats you right when you are together. Nobody will ever be perfect.

On the other hand, what is he doing on the times other than the few weekends per month you see him?

I can see some red flags here, sorry to say. I hope I'm wrong.

Haha never noticed that typo!

Yeah i'm probably over thinking!

Yeah he is really sweet when we're together.

He works down south so I can only see him when he's back home. He's required to work every third weekend too so that's why I don't see him all the time.

I assume he just hangs out with his workmates when he's down there. He works long shifts so always just goes home after work...or so he says!

Compliments and texting are not indicative of anything other than flattery and excessive phone attachment. Anyone can do that.

And while "anyone" can do that, you know what type tends to blow up the phones with cuteness the most? Shallow players, insecure love bombers, and sufferers of chronic boredom. That's why, at least for me, it's something of a red flag if a woman starts blowing up my phone with heart emojis and cute selfies after just a few dates.

Sure, my ego gets a thrill but deep down I'm always thinking: Were they just thirsty to be sending this sort of thing to anyone? You kind of end up feeling like vessel for someone's need to feel wanted, or just less bored.

But, hey, that's just me.

Anyhow, sounds like he likes you. Also sounds like he's a bit stoic and working a job that will inevitably make him a bit less "present" since mentally he's in two places at once. Maybe that doesn't end up working, because you need a bit more "presence," but if after three dates he's holding your hand, being sweet, and asking for more—yes, he likes you.

When a man keeps asking you out on dates, he doesn't do it for sh itz and giggles..........

Lasthope I think it’s safe to say you are more invested here than you need to be and you need to tone it down completely.

in this precarious stage where you aren’t sure whether not he likes you the fact that you are having to analyze his every move means you are putting way too much onto this

you need to slow all the way down that’s really the only thing you can do us telling you yes he likes you or no he doesn’t is just gonna make it worse you need to stop and slow down and accept this for what it is to people getting to know each other.

If it doesn’t work out, which is common in early saying that’s the risk we take, you need to take a dating break and work on your self esteem and self worth if you’re entering the dating world attempting to prove yourself worthy to men instead of knowing your worth and finding an equal you’re gonna have a hard time.

Is this the same guy? https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=550726

This was also a "work guy".

Lasthope I think it’s safe to say you are more invested here than you need to be and you need to tone it down completely.

 

in this precarious stage where you aren’t sure whether not he likes you the fact that you are having to analyze his every move means you are putting way too much onto this

 

you need to slow all the way down that’s really the only thing you can do us telling you yes he likes you or no he doesn’t is just gonna make it worse you need to stop and slow down and accept this for what it is to people getting to know each other.

 

If it doesn’t work out, which is common in early saying that’s the risk we take, you need to take a dating break and work on your self esteem and self worth if you’re entering the dating world attempting to prove yourself worthy to men instead of knowing your worth and finding an equal you’re gonna have a hard time.

Read this a few times.

The point of dating, when you can date healthily, is not to be liked. That's basically drug seeking, like going to a bar to get obliterated rather than to sip a beer or two.

The point of dating is to meet someone who you like, and those qualities need to include more than "he/she likes me." That takes time, far more than three dates. It's a little dance, and a fun one, especially if you go into it already liking yourself so you're not picking at every little gesture as a sign of how much they like you (or not).

And while "anyone" can do that, you know what type tends to blow up the phones with cuteness the most? Shallow players, insecure love bombers, and sufferers of chronic boredom. That's why, at least for me, it's something of a red flag if a woman starts blowing up my phone with heart emojis and cute selfies after just a few dates.

 

Sure, my ego gets a thrill but deep down I'm always thinking: Were they just thirsty to be sending this sort of thing to anyone? You kind of end up feeling like vessel for someone's need to feel wanted, or just less bored.

 

But, hey, that's just me.

This is so on point. I am very cautious of people that flatter lots in the beginning... words don't mean much to me unless they are backed up with actions. His actions are that he shows up when he says he will, takes your hand, takes you out on dates... and the fact that he said he wanted to see you even though he wasn't feeling well because he knew he wouldn't see you for two weeks? Just reading that made me feel warm and melty inside. This guy definitely likes you and wants to get to know you.

Did he just break up with her or are they on/off? If so when does he claim he broke it off with her? What brings him to your area? Does he only see you when he has other business or friends/family to visit there? Is this a drive-by dating situation?

Have you been invited to his area? Next time suggest you go up there for a date rather than dating "when he happens to come up".

Forget your friends' silly texts. Anyone can text "cute" things all day and some women may think oooh aaah and show all their friends but texting is cheap, easy, lame, mindless and effortless. It means nothing unless you need a text buddy.

In person dates and effort and actions are what you need to pay attention too not keeping up with your friends dating texts. Also...are you sure he is broken up with his gf?

He had a gf at the time and I got a new job so we never spoke again until he randomly messaged me at Christmas time.

 

we've seen each other every time he's been back up and have arranged to meet again next week.

 

it's confusing when all my friends get cute messages etc from the guys they are dating.

Whenever he's in your area, he makes sure he sees you. This says a lot. He likes you. I understand feeling out of sorts with little communication in between. Do you talk at all? Daily affirmations are maybe too much. I would hope for a little chit-chat in between, nothing major, maybe a good phone call. I despise daily texting. I think you're being a little to anxious in these early stages. I think you're expecting too much if you're expecting to be showered with a high level of complements. Men who are sketchy and insecure throw out high levels of complements. Stop fishing for complements. If he doesn't respond in a way that you have built up in your head, it will make you tailspin. You're already freaking out that you're not blonde and never plan to be and he said he likes brunettes. Ermagerd, does that mean he likes me?? Don't plant landmines in your head. Go with the flow and ENJOY! Don't make it more difficult than it is. If it turns out his style and ability to provide you with the relationship you want is lacking, then you move on...we all have to make these choices. Dating is a risk. You learn the things that work, you avoid the things that don't work, you accept compromise without compromising your core values and needs...it's a process. Take a breath and have fun...see where this goes.