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Over thinking or is something there?


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So I have this friend who we’ll call Bear. Bear and I met each other a couple of months ago at work. Now I’m not the type to talk to strangers, but with him I couldn’t shut up. So as we’re working together he starts getting real friendly. Now keep in mind that I’m gay and he’s straight. Anyway, a couple of months in, he starts inviting to go places with him. He says it’s cause he doesn’t like being lonely, but he only asks me.

 

My friends that work with us tease me about him liking me and reading into his friendliness as something more. Like once I told him that my roommate cooked a really bad steak and he volunteered to cook me one. Now he asked other people if they wanted some but told them they’d have to bring they’re own steak.

 

He constantly invites me to go places and will even come to my room and wait while I get ready. (He give me 10 minutes but what are you gonna do) He tells me he hates when I see his car or room messy but doesn’t say that to anyone else.

 

He’s become more possessive lately and more dominant. (Something I’ve told him I like which is a complete flip from his sensitive self) He hates when I wanna hang out with other friends or if I wanna leave his room. Like I had to leave my phone at his place in order for me to change out my work clothes cause he wanted to make sure I was coming back.

 

Once we started drink and some friends (boy and girl) were dancing together. He pulls me out my chair and starts teaching me how to ballroom dance (hand on hip and mine of shoulder). The whole nine. (And there were other girls available)

 

Now I don’t know if he is but he’s told me that if I ever tried to come onto him that he’d punch me in the face whether I was drunk, high, or whatever. My friends say it’s cause he doesn’t want to accept who he is.

 

I know this is long but someone help me? I like him and it’s that strand that he likes me too. False hopes I guess. P.s. he tells me about females he wants to have intercourse with so...

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First off, I’m not really sure why you want to be with someone that told you he would punch you in the face... there’s that.

 

Whether he is straight or conflicted, that isn’t your business. You can spend all of your time sitting and wondering if he will figure out that he likes you or not or you can focus on what you really want in a relationship which I’m guessing is someone that knows he’s gay and doesn’t want to punch you in the face. How do you want to spend your energy? You might need to step away from this guy to gain some clarity and let your feelings and focus go elsewhere or else you will be in a standstill hoping this dude is gay and waiting for him to like you “like that.” Don’t waste your life trying to milk a dry well.

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If this is the case it's more of a bromance and even though you want to see signs of sexual interest from a straight guy, they are not there. Keep it as friends and get on gay dating apps for sexual partners. Just as you are not suddenly going to become straight, just because a girl has a crush on you, don't expect a relationship with him outside of friends/coworkers.

So as we’re working together he starts getting real friendly. Now keep in mind that I’m gay and he’s straight.
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