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Thread: my boyfriend will not stop talking to this girl

  1. #1

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    my boyfriend will not stop talking to this girl

    I have long distance relation with my boyfriend for two years. He lives in Japan. He told me he wants have kids and I told him I am not ready at this moment of my life and i don't know when i am ready. One month after our conversation he met this British girl trough a language exchange website and they became friends. I knew about their friendship 2 months after. I didn't mind, because i know he really wants to improve his English and he is also bit bored.

    After the summer I had to go back to school. That moment of my life was really hard, I didn't had money and I need to pass the exam and find a job. So I was angry and sad a lot and I will react this frustration on him. So he didn't wants to talk to me. He spend long hours with this girl, so I told him not to hang out with her anymore. But he kept hanging out with her. Eventually I will cry and get mad, but he still kept hanging out with her. I told him I want to breakup. He will apologize but nothing will change, he still will hangout with her. Eventually he asked me to give him a proof from a dokter that I am able to have children , otherwise he will not marry me. He was married and divorced before, so he does't wants another divorce.

    My question is why is he doing that. I'm very confused! He doest wants to breakup, but he doesn't wants to stop talking to this girl. And now he wants proof if I'm able to have children. Why is he doing that?

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    You both want very different things in life and are at different places in life so it is better to let each other go.

  3. #3
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    Let him go. I would be insulted if a man asked me for proof that I was able to conceive. After all, if we did try to have children, the fertility issues could be him

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    The question is not why is he doing this. The questions is why are you putting up with it!!! You two are not on the same page and telling you to go see a doctor to prove you can have kids is outrageous.

    Time to move on from this guy and find someone more sensible.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    You don't share the same relationship boundaries, so it'll never work. Find a relationship that you're not regularly upset, angry, and frustrated with. Otherwise, you're settling. You'll never get inside anyone else's head. The only thing you need to know is that the relationship isn't working for you.

  7. #6
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    You are constantly showing people how you should be treated. Remember that..

    End it.

  8. #7
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    Have you met this guy in person, OP?

    In any event, I would end the relationship. Normal, healthy and sustainable relationships don't have this sort of dynamic.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Have you ever met in person? He sounds like an ahole. Set yourself free and start dating local guys.
    Originally Posted by rvan
    I have long distance relation with my boyfriend for two years. He lives in Japan. he asked me to give him a proof from a dokter that I am able to have children , otherwise he will not marry me.

  10. #9

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    yes I met him couple of times and he is super nice and very gentle guy when I met him. But suddenly he asked me this question. Why now, why did he not ask years before. Why is he keep hanging out with this girl when he wants to marry?

    he is my first boyfriend, so I don't know what is health in relationship.
    Last edited by rvan; 02-16-2019 at 08:03 AM.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    We who have posted have a lot of life experience and have all told you to leave. Learn this life lesson that he is an unhealthy partner. Date locally so you can learn far more quickly who is right for you and who isn't. Life's too short to waste time on LDRs which have a higher risk of failure, and you can't see what the person is up to day by day and learn what you need to know.

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