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Thread: Am I overthinking this?

  1. #31
    Gold Member Soulsister2010's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    Sure, obviously, and you don't know about it because you don't know her all that well. And odds are that it has zero to do with you.

    Haven't you ever been in a rush, and despite the love you have for your friends, you've needed to fly past inquiry--because you're in a rush?

    I'd take some deep cleansing breaths and look forward to seeing your new friend next class. On some days she'll have the free time to socialize with you, and others she'll need to plow forward with a wave and some dust left behind.

    Same as you, same as anyone, at some point.

    Head high, and don't personalize stuff that is most likely not personal.
    Thank you, Catfeeder!! I agree with this now and I feel it. I am just going to be easy about it. It has been a pattern of mine to get really excited about a new friendship and then get all attached to the idea of us becoming good friends and interacting often. But not everyone is that way. I知 particularly extroverted in that way and a lot of people aren稚 and I get that.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Soulsister2010
    Thank you, Catfeeder!! I agree with this now and I feel it. I am just going to be easy about it. It has been a pattern of mine to get really excited about a new friendship and then get all attached to the idea of us becoming good friends and interacting often. But not everyone is that way. I知 particularly extroverted in that way and a lot of people aren稚 and I get that.
    I understand. It's prudent to allow new friends to show you their pace. Not every acquaintance will become best buds, and that's fine. Part of maturity is to form different kinds and degrees of friends to satisfy different needs and interests. Otherwise, attempting to form the kind of 'best' friendships we had as kids where someone becomes our 'everything' is too intense and not appropriate.

    Close friendships can evolve from acquaintanceships, but not with a heavy hand. That puts people off, because most people already have full lives and aren't seeking to add the kind of investment a close friendship can require.

    Use a soft touch, and see what evolves. Not everyone is a good match for friendship, but that speaks of the mix in capabilities and timing rather than directly of you.

  3. #33
    Gold Member Soulsister2010's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    I understand. It's prudent to allow new friends to show you their pace. Not every acquaintance will become best buds, and that's fine. Part of maturity is to form different kinds and degrees of friends to satisfy different needs and interests. Otherwise, attempting to form the kind of 'best' friendships we had as kids where someone becomes our 'everything' is too intense and not appropriate.

    Close friendships can evolve from acquaintanceships, but not with a heavy hand. That puts people off, because most people already have full lives and aren't seeking to add the kind of investment a close friendship can require.

    Use a soft touch, and see what evolves. Not everyone is a good match for friendship, but that speaks of the mix in capabilities and timing rather than directly of you.
    Thank you so much :-) This is brilliant advice and your words really hit home for me!! I have class with her tonight and I知 just going to treat it like no big deal and then leave afterward like no big deal. Thank you!

  4. #34
    Gold Member Soulsister2010's Avatar
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    Just to update everyone, I was worrying for absolutely nothing. All was friendly again tonight and went great and we chatted after class and it was exactly how I would have wished it to be. Normal and natural and not weird at all. Thank you all for your kind words!!

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Soulsister2010
    Just to update everyone, I was worrying for absolutely nothing. All was friendly again tonight and went great and we chatted after class and it was exactly how I would have wished it to be. Normal and natural and not weird at all. Thank you all for your kind words!!
    Terrific! Thanks for letting us know. EnjOy!

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