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Thread: Dealt with "Stashing" and being hidden for years.

  1. #11
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    Jun 2014
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    45
    Originally Posted by IAmFCA
    I am sorry, OP, that your gf wasn't more forthcoming with you. Maybe she didn't expect her family to understand; speculation isn't helpful though. Whatever her reasons, she was happy living two lives and you aren't. Between the two of you, I'd rather have it your way and so would you. You deserve someone who loves you, the whole you.

    You will recover with a new appreciation for your standards, and that will help you attract a better match - when you're ready.
    Thank you so much, your last sentence is echoing out as I read it. I did put myself last from the beginning and it chipped away at me bit by bit.

  2. #12
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    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    45
    Originally Posted by Annia
    Ghosting you like that after 4 years really shows she didn't value you or respect you.

    What do you mean leaving you all alone on Christmas and New Year Eve? Are you far away from friends and family and can't visit them or spend these holidays with them? I'm just asking to understand if you put up with this for so long because you isolated yourself and neglected your friendships and life outside the relationship and made her your world or if maybe there was already emptiness in your life and you wanted her to fulfill this lack.
    Reading your post and looking back. I was indeed neglecting those close to me, friends and family outside of the relationship. i don't know if it was me assimilating to her ways, or something else.

    Thank you everyone who has posted. I started seeing a therapist and am on my path of healing myself, and getting stronger. Thank you!!

  3. #13
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    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    45
    Update!
    After weeks of not hearing from her "Ghosting", I ran into her friends who were happy to see me. They were shocked and knew nothing of what was happening, they actually told me "she didn't really talk about you at all". The very next day I got an email from my ex. In the tune of
    "how amazing I am....how many great memories we shared....how perfect I am...but she doesn't want to continue it...etc"
    That's what I got after being ghosted for weeks after a multi-year relationship. Some days are ok, most are bad. It's been overall awful.

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