Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17

Thread: FiNANCIAL ISSUE

  1. #1

    FiNANCIAL ISSUE

    Been dating this woman for three months,all is good apart from this one issue.We regularly go out for drinks and buy alternate rounds which sounds good Howver her drink costs twice as much as mine.Am I being a skinflint if I bring this subject up,I dont want to ruin what we have.How do I approach thid issue if I was to mention it in conversation?

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    36,095
    Gender
    Female
    Both of you buy your own drinks then. Easy.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    32,440
    Gender
    Male
    Plan better dates that don't revolve around bars and rounds of drinks. Problem solved. Use some imagination/creativity.
    Originally Posted by Duffymoon62
    We regularly go out for drinks and buy alternate rounds which sounds good Howver her drink costs twice as much as mine.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    19,753
    The only thing you do is go for drinks? How boring!!

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    9,550
    Gender
    Female
    If this is straining your budget, then simple solution is just buy your own drinks instead of rotating tabs. Better yet, come up with more creative dates that don't involve spending and drinking.

    Overall, when you are already keeping a running tally of who spends how much and beginning to resent things so fast....that kind of attitude doesn't bode well for any relationship for you.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    6,237
    Gender
    Female
    I agree. If this is a big problem, I do question if there is something else amiss?

    To illustrate:
    Itís not uncommon for beer to be about $5
    Itís not uncommon for cocktails to be about $10

    So - if you are going out once a week and having 2 drinks each (what I would consider ďnormalĒ), your bill will be about $15 instead of about $10. Over the course of a month, thatís an extra $20 over what you would have spent anyways.

    I would not raise an issue about $20. Relationships are supposed to comprise of a lot of things - sometimes you are more on the giving end, sometimes you are more on the receiving end.

    Now... if you are going for drinks more than once a week (ie: you arenít doing other things) - I would consider this a problem in itself. And if you are having much more than 2 or 3 drinks a night (on a regular basis) when you are going out - this also seems excessive? Why are you going out and getting smashed all the time?

    The fact that this is a problem should be raising other (different) alarm bells.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    10,209
    Just ask if she wouldn't mind if you each open a tab for yourselves rather than take turns paying for every round. I can vaguely understand folks who would prefer taking turns rather than splitting when it comes to a weekly dinner, but it sounds kinda obnoxious playing hot potato every time a round of drinks comes out.

    I don't see where this is all you guys ever do even if it's regular, but if it is, yeah, try to diversify. Though that doesn't let her off the hook for not suggesting different environments.

    And as far as whether you're being cheap, $20 not needing be spent will mean different things to different people. And my opinion would be different between whether you were kicking back $3 Miller Lites and she was throwing in a few extra bucks for something that's actually palatable, or if she's opting for the aŮejo in her margaritas.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,229
    Originally Posted by RedDress
    I agree. If this is a big problem, I do question if there is something else amiss?

    To illustrate:
    Itís not uncommon for beer to be about $5
    Itís not uncommon for cocktails to be about $10

    So - if you are going out once a week and having 2 drinks each (what I would consider ďnormalĒ), your bill will be about $15 instead of about $10. Over the course of a month, thatís an extra $20 over what you would have spent anyways.

    I would not raise an issue about $20. Relationships are supposed to comprise of a lot of things - sometimes you are more on the giving end, sometimes you are more on the receiving end.

    Now... if you are going for drinks more than once a week (ie: you arenít doing other things) - I would consider this a problem in itself. And if you are having much more than 2 or 3 drinks a night (on a regular basis) when you are going out - this also seems excessive? Why are you going out and getting smashed all the time?

    The fact that this is a problem should be raising other (different) alarm bells.
    Agreed. 3 months in and you are already keeping score about what you are spending on drinks?

    Aside from all of that, you asked how to bring it up... just be straight up and say you want to pay for your own drinks while she pays for hers because hers are more expensive. And suggest some other activities as an alternative to going out for drinks.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    32,440
    Gender
    Male
    Buy a cheap bottle of wine and make dinner at home.
    Originally Posted by Duffymoon62
    We regularly go out for drinks and buy alternate rounds which sounds good Howver her drink costs twice as much as mine.Am I being a skinflint if I bring this subject up,I dont want to ruin what we have.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    9,630
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Duffymoon62
    Been dating this woman for three months,all is good apart from this one issue.We regularly go out for drinks and buy alternate rounds which sounds good Howver her drink costs twice as much as mine.Am I being a skinflint if I bring this subject up,I dont want to ruin what we have.How do I approach thid issue if I was to mention it in conversation?
    She buys alternate rounds? It sounds like she is open to being fair, but I think comparing the cost of hers would be in poor taste.

    If it bothers you, tell her. By no means is my opinion right. It's just my opinion.

    I am very fair minding and try to keep things equitable. I am often generous at times. But if you wanted to split hairs over the cost of my drink, I'd have problem with it.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •