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Thread: Ex girlfriend, just wants to be friends with benefits. Now what?

  1. #21
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    if you're end game is to get back into a relationship with her - then walk away .. FAST.
    Entering into an FWB does not rekindle anythign about a relationsip. Sorry.

    If you get involved in this manner HOPING to win her over again with a DIFFERENT end goal - you are not only going to get hurt, but you are lying to her by agreeing to an FWB when you know you have no interest in just a FWB. NOT a great way to try and start a relationship - based on a lie to try and manipulate them back to you.

    Let her go. Or else you're going to get REALLY hurt on this one.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bots10
    End goal would be to get back into a committed relationship.
    Then I'd take a clean flight off of her radar, and if she reaches out, I'd tell her that I don't want to be contacted for anything less than a fully committed relationship. Bye.

    You will thank yourself later.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    It was met without resistance; today actually. It was not meant with resistance and her response was "well what if the time comes when it is no more, would you be okay then? That's the point."

    She asked me today what benefit I saw out of the situation, given it seemed that I wanted more and was holding out for something. I responded. Followed up with that question to her with no response to it.
    OP, She is checking in to make sure you are okay with this uncertain arrangement. She is signaling that she sees this ending at some point.

    I am so sorry. Your investment is better spent elsewhere - yourself, your life goals. She is not on your path, and therefore is at best a distraction from your progress.

  4. #24
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    She is, possibly, weaning herself off you. Or maybe this is an easier mode of relationship for her, with you. Anyway, you are helping her through the break-up process. She sees you as subservient to her wishes (very unattractive) and will likely dump you totally when she finds something she likes better.

    Believe it or not, if you cut this off, go no contact, and get on with your own treatment and self improvement then you take back the power, give her the chance to miss you, and for fading affect bias to take effect, and:

    (a) You will heal and improve yourself, if you do the work; and

    (b) If she decides to come back, great that's a nice bonus.

    Along the way, she gave you her reasons for backing away - dealing with your ptsd/depression.

    Take this time to do that.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent point. She may just be stringing you along.
    Originally Posted by RayRay63
    She is, possibly, weaning herself off you. Or maybe this is an easier mode of relationship for her, with you. Anyway, you are helping her through the break-up process.

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