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Thread: Ex girlfriend, just wants to be friends with benefits. Now what?

  1. #1
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    Ex girlfriend, just wants to be friends with benefits. Now what?

    Dated for 8 months, time came about a month ago when she clearly stated no more and even went as far as blocking me on social media. A week after being blocked I had reached out to exchange personal belongings. Well one thing lead to another and the past couple weeks we have spent the entire weekend together, doing typical dating/relationship things. The week then comes and it's like I'm non existent again. She made it clear that she did not want to "jump back into what happened" and in more or less words wants to be friends with benefits. Yet the weekends don't portray such. I have feelings on an emotional level for her, but don't understand the two different sides (week vs weekend) I'm seeing from her. Any idea? End goal would be to get back into a committed relationship.

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    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    I'm sorry, but she is not available for a relationship.

    It may help you to think about what it was like. Why did she end it?

    How old is she?

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What happened that she doesn't want to jump back into? What was the breakup about? fwb implies a regular agreed on mostly sexual relationship. What's the difference between seeing each other weekends now and when you were dating? Just lack of weekday dates, communication, etc. Is she dating others? Are you still blocked on social media?
    Originally Posted by bots10
    She made it clear that she did not want to "jump back into what happened"

    don't understand the two different sides (week vs weekend) I'm seeing from her. End goal would be to get back into a committed relationship.

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    It was ended based on the fact that I struggle with emotional stability. Ptsd. We didn't fight, she stated that she could no longer provide happiness for both of us.

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    There was emotional instability on my end. A ptsd of sorts. She said her tanks were empty of trying to provide happiness for both of us.

    No longer blocked, have spent the past 2 weekends together which have been amazing. Just like nothing happened. When the week comes the connection, conversation and enjoyable times spent on weekend all seem to dissappear. Yet for instance yesterday she was asking what we were doing this upcoming weekend, but won't engage in normal conversation via text or things or that sort.

    As it stands currently the differences I'm seeing is the lack of communication through the week and on social media an attempt to make it appear that I'm not with her. Yet last Friday we went out to dinner and drinks were all her coworkers and then spent the entire weekend together.

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    We're both 28.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok, in a way she is correct. You need to manage any personal issues yourself with the appropriate medical and psychological care. It's not her job and you can't be dependent or clingy like this without suffocating someone. It sounds like she still cares but needed to get healthier boundaries by distancing herself from drowning in your problems..

    Best approach: Today...make an appointment with your doctor and therapist and discuss what is going on and what kind of medical help/therapy would support you and improve your mood and independence and most of all boundaries
    Originally Posted by bots10
    There was emotional instability on my end. A ptsd of sorts. She said her tanks were empty of trying to provide happiness for both of us.

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    What are you doing for your condition?

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    I had started seeing a therapist prior and have continued, also have engaged with my pcp and received certain medications for acute depression symptoms. I'm aware of my issues and it's just not something thst changes over night.

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Ok, in a way she is correct. You need to manage any personal issues yourself with the appropriate medical and psychological care. It's not her job and you can't be dependent or clingy like this without suffocating someone. It sounds like she still cares but needed to get healthier boundaries by distancing herself from drowning in your problems..

    Best approach: Today...make an appointment with your doctor and therapist and discuss what is going on and what kind of medical help/therapy would support you and improve your mood and independence and most of all boundaries
    I completely agree but it's just if it was a hook up situation and then nothing, it would be one thing, but it the constant time and enjoyable time together all weekend followed by the coldness that is the week.

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