Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 37

Thread: Ex continues to screw me over

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    138
    Gender
    Male

    Ex continues to screw me over

    So me and my ex gf where on a phone plan together. She’d pay her half and I’d pay mine. Never had a problem until she left me for another guy. I didn’t have credit at the time so o was on her plan. She also took out a 2,500$ loan to help me pay for school since I didn’t have credit a year and a half ago. Which I pay every month and only owe 1,000$ which I could easily pay off right now but was afraid she’d screw me over. Which she did yesterday.

    Anyway i chose a thousand dollar phone that I’d pay monthly with Verizon which is in her name. In January I sent her the money to pay it off so I could further cut ties with her and so I could transfer it to my own account and keep the same number. Gave her the rest of the 466$ I had left owed via Wells Fargo wire transfer. I was 4 weeks into no contact at the time so I sent a message with the transfer saying “pay off phone”.

    Me and her agreed that I’d pay off the loans and phone and she’d honor her word to turn the phone off. She earlier screwed me over by using the car title she had of mine as leverage so I’d send the stuff she left at my house even tho I had no problem in giving her stuff back. Anyways she never sent me the title.

    After waiting two weeks for the phone to be turned off I realized she wasn’t going to do it and went out and purchased a new phone and plan.

    Yesterday I checked my emails and received one from Verizon stating that the phone of mine in her name was reported stolen/lost. So she took the 466$ and didn’t pay it off. Plus the other 536$ I had already paid on the phone. The funny thing is the fact I received an email in the first place. She had to of had sent to me on purpose so I’d see whaat she did.

    The phone is pretty much worthless now. I don’t understand why she’s doing this stuff. I haven’t spoken to her in 2 months. She’s trying to make things as difficult as possible. 3 years I spent with her and she’s making sure any good o seen in her is destroyed.

    I have decided not the pay the rest of the loan off. It’s nof me to do that but im tired of being screwed over. I guess the fact I begged her back made her not respect me. Plus her new bf is probably telling her to do it.

    Smh

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    138
    Gender
    Male
    I thought about calling her but I’d know I’d get pissed. Plus I’m 2 months no contact. She’d probably like it if I did. She’d get a rise.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    1,072
    Gender
    Female
    I didn't see a question but that sucks dude. You knew she was not a standup person when she left you for someone else. Assume she means you harm and cut any and all financial ties without her being a part of the decision at all. At this point, she's clearly just taking what she can get.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    2,701
    So if I understand correctly, the Verizon account is all in her name?

    If that's true, then she can do whatever the heck she wants to do, as it won't reflect on your credit. If she doesn't pay Verizon, it will only affect her credit, not yours.

    Good for you for opening a new phone account in your name. And good for you for keeping your word to her and paying off your debt to her.

    Keep copies of all of your wire transfer receipts, forever. Yes, forever. If this ever ends up in small claims court, you will need these receipts.

    As to why she's being a jerk about this? Because she's a jerk, period. You don't need her in your life.

    For future situations, I'm sure you don't need to be told this, but best to keep your finances to yourself. Co-mingling finances can be difficult even in long-term marriages, let alone short-term (yes, a few years is "short-term") relationships.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Posts
    922
    Gender
    Female
    OK I hope this is a lesson learned..keep everything separate, like loans, phone packages, credit cards, bank accounts, and leases. Never ever have your name attached to something they have access to. Don't share plans because it might save a few buck, because in the end it will bite you in the ass. You are not married so don't act like you are. Relationships are rarely forever so keep that in mind to make sure you can have a clean break when you breakup.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    4,112
    Wait wait wait hold on guys before you harp on her in his anger he conveniently left out the fact that he used to abuse her. I don’t know call me crazy I just don’t think it makes a person bad to treat an abusive ex like sh*t. Whether you like it or not you have it coming.

    Also HUGE point you’re alao flossing over none of this is in your name so it affects you in no way shape or form, you paid your debts to her so you washed your hands of the situation, what she does after that...

    I always say the person you marry and the person you divorce are not the same person. The person you dated and the person who broke up with you are not the same person and she will not treat you with kindness because well to be blunt she doesn’t want you back.

    If it makes you feel any better most people who divorce ( you weren’t married but you did combine money/credit) end up taking a hit credit wise. It’s super common. My ex reopened a charge account that was in both our names bought ah*t and didn’t pay it and let a car in both our names get repossed and charged off. That’s a hit to my credit for the next 6 years and I worked tirelessly to have perfect credit before all this so not trying to be dismissive but keep things in perspective, could be worse.

    Build your credit up, you don’t seem to have an issue getting a phone now... bad idea to combine finances with anyone you aren’t tied to ie narriage.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    11,057
    She's not a jerk. By your own admission in your first post, you abused her.

    You keep trying to rewrite history ("She left me for another guy!!!") but she left you because she couldn't take the abuse you dished out any longer.

    It bothers me that you are now trying to pretend the abuse didn't happen. That just proves you haven't taken responsibility for abusing her but instead are trying to play the victim.

    As for the phone, if it's in her name then she really hurt herself, not you.

    Time to let this go.

  9. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    138
    Gender
    Male
    Thanks guys.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    2,701
    OK, I didn't read the history. So it appears that she's not being a "jerk", but quite honestly, she's probably still pissed off/hurting over the emotional abuse/"gaslighting" (word that you used in your post that you did to her), etc.

    That kind of emotional abuse is torturous, and can stay with someone for many years. She is likely still thinking of things in the relationship, things from maybe even years ago, and going.....aha! I knew I wasn't crazy. That was him abusing/gaslighting me.

    It appears that you've recognized this, so that's great.

    But WRT to this particular post today, about the phone, the wire transfer, the debts.....yep, she's likely saying "you know what? I get to hold some power here for once".

    As we've all said, this is not in your name, so just move along.

    And if you haven't already, find a therapist who can help you figure out why you did this in that relationship, and can help you block that pattern for the future.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    11,057
    You saying "I know I abused her, but why is she being so MEAN???!!!" shows you really don't get it.

    She is right to not want to "work things out" with the guy who abused her.

    Please just walk away. For good.

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •