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Thread: Private online life of bf, am I overreacting?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    Clearly you have feelings about it or you wouldn’t be here. If you’re comfortable, sit on this situation for awhile, see how things go but keep your eyes open. Just know that if this an issue or dealbreaker for you, you’re not being unreasonable, as many people would find this unnecessarily secretive.

  2. 02-10-2019, 08:04 PM

  3. #12
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    If a bf of mine had secret accounts that he specifically hides from me I would be gone.
    I dont snoop, I dont want passwords, I dont need to know the ins & outs, but I would be pretty p*ssed if he was intentionally hiding things from me

  4. #13
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    My husband only has a nominal facebook and if he had any account that I couldn't be part of or secret accounts that would not be ok. I wouldn't dream of having those - because, well, we have nothing to hide of course.

  5. #14
    Member Never after's Avatar
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    My ex had secret accounts & also would not let me see nor friend him on any social media during our relationship... Turns out he was cheating during most of our 7 Yrs together. If there's no trust there's no relationship ... Wish I had known then what I know now... if it walks like a duck....

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  7. #15
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    While I actually think it's fine for him to have that corner that's his, even to the extent he's got a Twitch account he doesn't have to worry about you peeping in on, it does seem to be a bit extreme if he really is expressly avoiding you having access to any and all of his social media presence.

    On the other side of the token, it always concerns me a bit when someone would uproot their life and move to be with someone pretty much ever, never mind a single year into dating them long-distance. While he's being exceptionally secretive, with such a person who would pick up and move like this, I do wonder if there's not a question of whether the chicken or the egg came first. What kind of expectations of time and access do you have with him? Have you two ever had disagreements or argued over matters that would prompt him to be more assertive with his privacy?

  8. #16
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Not wanting to give passwords: perfectly fine and normal

    Not wanting you to even know his social media and creating secret accounts once you find the one he uses: weird and sketchy.

  9. #17
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    He told me that his only social media is Twitter, which he only uses to follow up on gaming and sports news and talk to some of his online gaming friends. He does not post selfies or make the account associated with real himself, kind of like how we are all talking anonymously here. To some extent I understand why he feels uncomfortable sharing it with me because I've used Twitter in a very similar manner before and I didn't want anyone to know about it. Not because I was doing something sketchy but it was a part of me that I wanted to keep it to myself. Other than this online account issue he never kept things from me or lied to me before. When we are together in person, sometimes he shows me his Twitter feed or leaves his phone unlocked(even I don't do that) knowing that I wouldn't snoop around.

    All these little things and how he treats me made me trust him on it even though his preference seems a bit too extreme. He even admitted that this is a bit too much for other people to understand when we talked about the issue before. I almost wish I never found out his Twitch account because I wasn't interested in it to begin with and now him making the second account just makes me wonder if he's hiding other big things from me. As indea08 said earlier, I think I need some time to digest this and see what I want to do. Clearly I'm thinking about this the first thing in the morning so..I think I need some time.

    Also, I decided to move closer to him because I'm used to moving to different cities and don't have much attachment to where I live now. I do agree maybe it is a bit too early to make such a big life decision with someone that I only dated LD for one year. However, I thought for me to give this a real chance I need to physically be with him in daily basis and see the relationship dynamic.
    Last edited by lililiah; 02-11-2019 at 08:50 AM.

  10. #18
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    I would bet money that he has other girls locally or online like you. This is really sketchy.

  11. #19
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lililiah
    He told me that his only social media is Twitter,
    I almost wish I never found out his Twitch account
    Uhm... be glad that you did. Sketchy is as sketchy does.

  12. #20
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lililiah
    Also, I decided to move closer to him because I'm used to moving to different cities and don't have much attachment to where I live now. I do agree maybe it is a bit too early to make such a big life decision with someone that I only dated LD for one year. However, I thought for me to give this a real chance I need to physically be with him in daily basis and see the relationship dynamic.
    BIG BIG BIG mistake. With all the red flags waving in your face, your very clear lack of trust, and then you STILL intend moving to him?? Girl, you're heading for disaster and a lot of hurt and unhappiness .... and even worse, you're doing it with your eyes wide open. I have no words.....

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