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Thread: My bf of 2 years has lost interest in sex

  1. #1

    My bf of 2 years has lost interest in sex

    In the past couple of months my boyfriend of 2 years has stopped being interested in anything sex related. Whenever he thinks, sees or does anything sex related he feels physically sick and recently he has stopped even thinking about it. On top of that he now says that sex is boring and is something only for teenagers. I donít have much of an idea about what is causing this and neither does he. We have still been having sex occasionally, But only when we havenít seen eachother in a few days, our reunions always result in sex for a few days with him interested but then he loses interest after 2-3 days and we then go months without. Itís not just me as he doesnít watch porn anymore but he used to love it. He also tells me that heís wants to want to have sex with me but he simply doesnít want to.

    The reason I have come for advice is because Iím struggling to come to terms with what is happening, I often feel as though he is not attracted to me anymore and this is some how my fault. At one point he told me that this is partly caused by me Ďstressing him out too muchí :/. Iím also struggling with the fact that we used to have a lot of sex and I still want that but he no longer does and Iím frustrated and wondering what I can do to stop that.

    I would like advice on what the problem might be and how to fix it. But if this is something that doesnít need fixing or is permanent then I would like to know how to deal with it considering I am still very much interested in him, am I just going to have to accept that Iíll probably not get to have sex ever again?

  2. #2
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    My first thought is that he may be a sexual abuse survivor. I am and when I am triggered, I get sick to my stomach. Itís a very common thing with survivors. If he was abused and hasnít dealt with it, it could be the problem. O

  3. #3
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    At one point he told me that this is partly caused by me Ďstressing him out too muchí :/.
    Care to elaborate on why this may be? Or is it unsubstantiated?

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    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    OP, This is something having to do with him, so its his responsibility to manage not yours. Has he discussed any willingness or desire to get psychotherapy?

    I do not recommend you resolve yourself to a future of little to no sex. For various reasons, I would expect your relationship to fail slowly and painfully. Sorry. Better to face it, let him know it isH't an expression of affection that creates bonding chemicals to help renew your affection. lf he has an interest in getting help, then I'd stay for a bit.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Do you live together? How old is he? It's not your job to fix it and it's also not your fault. He may be depressed, using drugs/alcohol, have medical problems, stress relates issues or cheating, etc.

    This is his issue to resolve and his decision to seek medical checkups and therapeutic help. It would be best to break up since he is blaming this new asexuality/lack of libido on you and the relationship has become unsatisfying on many levels for both of you.
    Originally Posted by Marmitoad2
    In the past couple of months my boyfriend of 2 years has stopped being interested in anything sex related.

    he now says that sex is boring and is something only for teenagers. he told me that this is partly caused by me Ďstressing him out too muchí :/.


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