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Thread: My gf stayed in contact with a guy she shouldn't have

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by indea08
    Well then you are going to have a lot of stress in your life over past incidents that no one can go back and change. Everyone has a past, there’s no point in punishing people for them.

    Now that you’ve been made aware, all that has happened is you have become insecure and controlling, your gf has her past held over her head, and your trust/relationship has become rocky. She never should have told you, it wasn’t your business and you wouldn’t be feeling this way. Maybe you’d even have a new friend (the guy). There’s no point in all this drama, life goes on, let it go.
    I can see where your coming from but I don't want to be friends with a scumbag who cheats on his gf and has pictures of my gf. My gf had said beforehand she didnt want me to have contact with anyone I'd had any interest before so I'm sure you can see the double standard. She has apologised for that and we've moved on.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Yikes! Get a grip. If you can't...stop socializing with this trainer and his gf or....just break up.
    Originally Posted by Matbon
    a guys gf.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    That was wrong of your girlfriend, and it’s wrong of you.

    You should embrace your partners past, it made them who they are. It helped shape them into the person you love. Your girlfriends past experiences led her to you.

    Besides, nothing can be done to change the past, so feeling any type of way about it is literally just wasting energy. If you want to have a successful, healthy relationship, then focus on who your partner is TODAY, and make them feel so loved that they don’t feel threatened at all by your past. If you want to be together then just love each other, and quit finding stupid petty things to cause arguments. That’s exactly how relationships become toxic.

    Life is too short to be anything but happy.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Yikes! Get a grip. If you can't...stop socializing with this trainer and his gf or....just break up.
    We dont socialise with them. There's no contact, but do you not think it's a horrible move to be friendly and nice to a girl and then go home and sext and send pics to her bf? Then afterwards, once you have a new bf socialise all together as friends and not bat an eyelid, not feel any guilt or not find a way to avoid the situation?

    I know what your saying. Quit moaning, move on and I will because I love her. I don't hold this over her head anymore. Its not mentioned. It's just hard to get over completely and I have anxiety which I'm sure you can tell from my posts so it just pops into my head sometimes. Maybe i do build it up. I'm not nasty or manipulative. I wish this hadn't happened. I wish I had never had found out, but it did and I can't help but lose a small bit of respect because her choices, which could of really hurt someone else ( his gf).

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Matbon
    but do you not think it's a horrible move to be friendly and nice to a girl and then go home and sext and send pics to her bf? Then afterwards, once you have a new bf socialise all together as friends and not bat an eyelid, not feel any guilt or not find a way to avoid the situation?
    Yes, I do think that was pretty mean of your girlfriend. And THAT’S the behavior you should address: the fact that she’s willing to treat other people that way. Address it by asking her questions, why she did that, how she’d feel if someone did that to her, etc. But giving her rules (like no talking to people she’s sexted with) is never the answer, and will only make your relationship worse.

    And while you may have anxiety, I can tell by your reposes that you’re open to growth and a change of mindset. That will get you far. Always learn, always grow, compromise when you need to, and you’ll have a very happy life and relationship.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by indea08
    Yes, I do think that was pretty mean of your girlfriend. And THAT’S the behavior you should address: the fact that she’s willing to treat other people that way. Address it by asking her questions, why she did that, how she’d feel if someone did that to her, etc. But giving her rules (like no talking to people she’s sexted with) is never the answer, and will only make your relationship worse.

    And while you may have anxiety, I can tell by your reposes that you’re open to growth and a change of mindset. That will get you far. Always learn, always grow, compromise when you need to, and you’ll have a very happy life and relationship.
    Thankyou for your advice

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