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Thread: Thoughts On Women Approaching Men

  1. #91
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    A surface that the caveman in me finds awfully nice.
    Lol. The word "caveman" did come to mind.

    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Which is not to say I'm a passive player, like the mythic dude from the other forum. Guess it comes back to that vibe thing again, just emitting an energy that is open and confident—and, sure, masculine—but not threatening and seeing what comes.
    The word "masculine," to me, brings to mind adjectives like strong, brave, assertive, and sometimes aggressive. I would have to say that strong and brave are the traits that I find most attractive in men. Assertive is great, too.

    Aggressive is usually also stupid, and stupid is unattractive. So, aggressive is a turn-off.

    There's something to be said for passive and sweet. But I know myself and I test the limits of people. I don't want to be the boss; I just want boundaries. I push those passive ones all over the place, eventually right out of the relationship because I can't abide poor boundaries.

    Aggressive is just another form of poor boundaries, come to think of it.

    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Also even worse because from all I read about what you write, what you do - what planet is he on thinking you'd like to be called "cute" in that context! (and that's my compliment to you lol)
    Thank you :)

  2. #92
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    Lol. The word "caveman" did come to mind.



    The word "masculine," to me, brings to mind adjectives like strong, brave, assertive, and sometimes aggressive. I would have to say that strong and brave are the traits that I find most attractive in men. Assertive is great, too.

    Aggressive is usually also stupid, and stupid is unattractive. So, aggressive is a turn-off.

    There's something to be said for passive and sweet. But I know myself and I test the limits of people. I don't want to be the boss; I just want boundaries. I push those passive ones all over the place, eventually right out of the relationship because I can't abide poor boundaries.

    Aggressive is just another form of poor boundaries, come to think of it.



    Thank you :)
    Aggressive is not inherently bad -- being aggressive in going after your goals, aggressively fighting for an innocent person.
    There is a difference between AggreSSIVE and aggreSION. Showing aggression is negative and being aggressive can be very good. It can be a positive trait.

    I don't prefer passive and sweet. Sweet is good, passivity is not. Keep in mind -- passive has nothing to do with being cooperative, being soft spoken/choosing words carefully, etc. Passive means zero action, letting life happen to you, etc, being a pedestrian in it.

  3. #93
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    The line between being sweet, and being passive, is difficult to define.

    Much depends on whether you are simpatico with your partner.

    At what point does aggressiveness become aggression?

    I'd like to hear your view on this.

  4. #94
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    I think aggression becomes stupid when it is directed at other people, simply to intimidate and/or get what one wants.

    Self defense or ambition are separate (in my mind) from this type of aggression.

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  6. #95
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    Originally Posted by RayRay63
    The line between being sweet, and being passive, is difficult to define.

    Much depends on whether you are simpatico with your partner.

    At what point does aggressiveness become aggression?

    I'd like to hear your view on this.
    Of course it is and that is one reason I am a fan of the traditional -ask for the number/ask the person out on a date in a pleasant/respectful way - if the person is single and it's not right in the workplace or a boss/employee -with rare exception - people know what is meant by that, and even if there is a mistake and the person is married or "taken" people get that too. It's more of a universal language than taking risks at "complimenting" strangers or coworkers in the manner Jibralta suggested. And passive then is typically a man who refuses to ask a woman out he is interested in who is showing interest -that is society's definition of passive - not saying I agree or not just saying there are certain ways to evaluate behavior that are mostly understood by all. Again with exceptions.

  7. #96
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    I think aggression becomes stupid when it is directed at other people, simply to intimidate and/or get what one wants.

    Self defense or ambition are separate (in my mind) from this type of aggression.
    that's aggreSSION not aggresSIVE
    But "getting what one wants" is positive sometimes.
    And there are some limited circumstances where intimidation has its place - intimidating your opponent with your skills/ability, or getting yourself out of a potentially dangerous situation. i

  8. #97
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    You can mince words and extrapolate all you want. But I am talking about a very specific thing, related to some men's interaction with women.

  9. 02-14-2019, 09:51 PM

  10. #98
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    Cute story:

    My beautiful niece is 5, in kindergarten.

    My brother sent me a photo of a boy, her classmate, that my niece sent a valentine to. Holding a note he wrote back telling her how much he loved her card (which she hand made), and thanking her for making him her valentine!

    Signed
    Love,
    His name

    So, somewhere along the way during her five years of life, she learned that girls initiate, send the valentines and perhaps in later years, approach and ask boys on dates.

    Anyway, thought it was a cute story! And relevant to the subject of this thread. :)
    Last edited by katrina1980; 02-15-2019 at 11:51 AM.

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